The Assassination Waltz

People keep joking about the untimely demise of President-Elect Barack Obama and it continues to not be funny. Take "artist" Apollo Braun's (aka Doron Braunshtein's) sweatshirt opus -- Who Killed Obama?

From Gawker:

Now that we have a glorious, hopey new president, it's time for the assholes to come out. Idiot L.E.S. designer Apollo Braun—famous for being the idiot who makes sweatshirts saying "Who Killed Obama?"— has issued a mumbly press release declaring that he will not stop making his idiot sweatshirts, despite alleged pressure from the FBI, which may or may not be a likely fabrication like the rest of the idiot's stories. He also gives an appropriately amusing quote!:

"I am not saying 'Kill Obama' I am only saying, 'Who Killed Obama?' And yes, you may say that I am predicting the near future ... I am still not sure if this is the best pop art creation I have ever made, or if it is the worst pop art creation I have ever made. But one thing is certain, it is definitely one pop creation that asks a lot of questions and evokes a lot of emotions in people... If I wouldn't do it, as an artist, who will?"

Great.

This isn't Braun's first attempt at being an asshole. He's a repeat offender. He created the "Who Killed Obama?" shirt back in March around the same time he was pushing an "Obama Is My Slave" T-shirt. He expressed horror that some individuals -- who may or may have not been Negroes -- expressed their discontent in the most forceful language possible. He even claimed he got roughed up by some unruly black girls, but that alleged assault is highly in doubt. Besides, claiming you were pimped slapped by tweens wearing skinny jeans who are two years out of the "That's So Raven" phase does not inspire empathy. I really don't think he was horrified by all the negative attention so much as he was delightfully pleased. He's one of those boring, pseudo hipster artist provocateurs.

[B.d.], who left the Holy Land for New York in the summer of 2001, is no stranger to controversy. One of his fashion shows featured a gay wedding between two models, one with a mask of President George W. Bush, the other wearing an Osama bin Laden mask. He doesn’t seem to be a fan of any politicians, stating he is no fan of Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and that Sen. John McCain “is not the answer” for America. His line of anti-Obama shirts has been on sale since March, sporting slogans like “Jews Against Obama,” “Obama = Hitler,” and “Who Killed Obama?” the latter of which the designer claims has sold 1,200. They sell for anywhere from $69 to $250.

I think he should just drop it and leave this sort of thing to the professionals. And by professionals I mean Ann Coulter.

Seriously. She doesn't come down to your job and knock the mop out of your hand, Pseudo Hipster Boy. Get off her race-baiting turf.

That said, since Obama started running two years ago he has endured countless threats and acts of really tacky art, including the racist whack-a-doodle clusterfuck that developed around the time when Gov. Sarah Palin was singing her no. 1 alt/country/folk/rock hit "Obama's Been Pal'in Around With Terrorists (Wouldn't You Rather Be Palin Around With Me?)"

Palin talked about infamous William Ayers so much she's still blabbering about him in interviews, but as a wise woman in a weave and hot pants once told me, if you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

Before that there were whack-a-doodles and art exhibits like the double threat of "The Assassination of Barack Obama" and "The Assassination of Hillary Clinton" created by "artist" Yazmany Arboleda earlier this year. The exhibit memorably featured a picture of Obama's adorable daughters with "Nappy Headed Hos" at the top (pictured above). I believe the exhibit was supposed to make you think. All I could think was that the artist was a tool. Like Pseudo Hipster Boy here, the artist was in it for the attention.

They're shock artists.

Sometimes shock art has a value and sometimes it's just tasteless boosterism. Look how edgy I am. I made a sculpture of Osama bin Laden raping Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch as Suri looks on and a pigeon poops on Xenu. Wow. I am so bad ass now. For $65, I'll put it on a T-shirt.

I don't see this stopping anytime soon -- the unfunny jokes, crappy assassination art and the deranged -- so for those who actually care we are going to have to endure. After all, that's what the Obamas will be doing as a family. Trying to fix the country's 1,001 problems while enduring the BS that comes with the job.

We will have to endure the threats, the shock artists and the whack-a-doodles and, dare I say it, the Sarah Palin, unless something happens that renders them all pop political eunuchs. Unless something happens that makes white supremacist groups stop using Obama's election as a recruitment tool, this is our future.

Reserve your outrage for something worthy. This tool is not it. This was more of a public service announcement. When it's "clobberin' time" you'll know. For now, simply vent as I have or share your coping mechanisms with myself and the others.

Right now, I'm just going to shout a stream of explitives then take some Clonazepam. That's how I'm making it through the next four years -- Brave. Angry. Neurotic. It's the Black Snob way.