Cowgirl up.
Is there no place Vivica Fox won't go get drunk in? Does she even work anymore because I think she's trying to break Gabrielle Union's record for hitting more random parties featuring people she just barely knows. How tight could V be with the Simpson sisters that she was a VIP as Jessica's birthday party July 7th?
I'm really feeling Cassidy's retro pink tux with burgundy bowtie. It makes him look like a douche, but a clever, indie douche which is what I think he was going for. He's the Summer's Eve of ironic dressers. As for Russell Simmons over there and his usually dressing for understatement or ... no statement, well ... at least he showed up.
Professional MAW (model/actress/whatever) Cassie manufactures herself a wind blown look by standing in front of this floor fan. So is she still trying to sing? What's her hustle these days? She's cute as a button. Surely Tommy Hilfiger or someone has something for her to do besides show up at parties, stand near the closest fan and pretend like she's Madonna in "Desperately Seeking Susan." Or she can visualize herself in slo-mo like Pheobe Cates in "Fast Times in Ridgemount High." Dance seductively to herself like Halle Berry in "Strictly Business." Basically, I'm saying she's eye candy. She should stick with that.
Who are these Retro Kids? Do they have a single coming out or something because the constant emergence of their two-toned high top fades have my interests piqued. Are they concept art? A dance crew? Pranksters? Inquiring minds want to know!
Kat Deluna. Not digging the high waisted shorts. It's not that I don't like high waisted, let's go back to the 1940s high waisted short, it's just if you're going to go retro you should commit yourself to it. Christina Aguliera does this all the times, as the 30s and 40s are among her favorite fashion periods. Wear the crisply ironed white shirt. Wear the high, shiny, ruby red closed toe high heel. Get a neck scarf and put your hair in pin curls! Commit, woman! Commit!
Lizzie Grubman and Mashonda. She may not have gotten in much trouble for running over a punch of party goers with her car, but Lizzie face still looks like it did 30 years in Rikers.
JD ... The neck tats. Those google-eyes. Damn, it must be love for, Janet. It must be LOVE!!!
Another puffed up, Calvin-style, fitted cap. A red Palestinian style scarf. Aviator shades, Just-For-Me so-soft permed hair and a white T-shirt. If he didn't already look like every other rapper out there you'd never know his name was Unique.
America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene Gonzalez forgot something. And because she forgot that something (on purpose) she cannot bend, sit, tilt, walk, turn, nod or rotate her torso because one false move and the double stick tape could give way to a boob outage of major proportions. I get that she's dressed for attention. (Top Model's past is strewn with has-beens and never-wases) But she also looks like a walk-on in the soft core porno "Law and Oral: Sexual Vices Unit" and she's Asst. District Attorney Ora Gasms. She never loses a case because of her "special technique" at procuring confessions during plea bargains.
Then she'd do a three-way with Coco and Ice-T at the end of ever episode. Finally, Ice-T could combine both his work and his disgusting pleasures. Joy to all. Get Dick Wolf on the phone Jaslene!
Young Berg. There are sometimes no words. It's like you stole Pharrell Williams and Benji Madden's clothes, covered yourself in Lil' Wayne's tats and you are still carrying that Autobot bling like a tire iron around your neck. And the fat, tongue out red Chucks? Very All-Star-esque. Pardon me while I puke up a Hot Topic.
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