Smooth Moves With Rev. Jesse Jackson

In this latest episode of "Surrogates Gone Wild," many seem to be fixated on Civil Rights Activist Jesse Jackson's verbal desire to perform "The Nutcracker Suite" on Barack Obama's manparts. It has something to do with the senator's alleged "talking down" to black people, most likely related to Obama's call to filial responsibility speech on Father's Day and his desire to expand President Bush's faith-based initiatives program. Some think black people need to hear some tough love on this issue. Others call this "tough love" the "Sister Souljah-ing" of black people for votes.

But that's all moot. Yeah, Jesse doesn't like how Barack is talking on this issue. I'm fine with that. But you discuss this while miked up for an interview at a FOX News affiliate?

You'd think the former Democratic presidential candidate and current civil rights activist would have learned a thing or three in-between "hymietown" and now. Unless you want to see it in print or hear it on the air, don't say it near a recording device or a journalist. And he was on FOX News! A network who's punditry/hosting class is none too fond of him and his "race hustling poverty pimp" ilk.

So seriously, Jesse? What was this? Senior moment? Ministroke? I'm not mad or anything because you probably inadvertently helped, Barack**. I'm just highly, highly confused.

You're all over the TV now, stuttering out your heartfelt apologies, and I believe you when you say you're sorry. Especially since you've endorsed the man and your son is riding shotgun on the Hope-Change express. But maybe you should consider not talking until November. A vow of silence. And you could dress up that vow all noble-like. Claim it's in solidarity with the victims of the genocide in Darfur. You know? People who could use some help. That way when reporters ask you anything you can just point at the sign on your chest that says, "No Talking Until China Stops Supporting Murderers" and enjoy the rest of your day thinking up words that rhyme with "Janjaweed" while listening to R. Kelly's "U Saved Me."

**I can only imagine how confusing this was for some FOX viewers to hear Jesse Jackson say something that could be interpreted as bolstering Obama's "boot-strap" credentials. The same Obama who've they've been told is some leftist, whitey-hating elitist. If Jesse Jackson is displeased with Barack what message does that send to bigots? Do they defend Jesse? Do they defend Barack? Will FOX even properly explain to them what they are supposed to make of this "Negro mess?"