For some reason, after years of using Alan Colmes as a personal punching bag for bringing a thesaurus to a knife fight, Sean Hannity is doing to pre-inaugural stunt casting and has invited Rev. Al Sharpton and Meatloaf to an upcoming segment of his shout-fest on FOX News. I don't know if this is just to stir up some trouble/ratings, but say what you will about the Good Reverend Al -- he's no Al Colmes.
My one true criticism of Hannity (coveted winner of The Black Snob's "Most Hated" award on "Top Pundit") was that it was unfair to bring the mild-mannered, librarian like Colmes to his Fight Night at the Apollo Creed-like show. If he had his druthers and really wanted to stir up things he'd have on someone as loud and crazy as himself, like Ed Schultz, who I can't stand, because he is just as irresponsible with his words and conspiracy theories as Hannity is. A nut should fight a nut, but no, he picked Colmes to berate and mock because he wanted to promote the stereotype of the wimpy, effete Liberal (even though Colmes sort of developed a bit of a spine as Obama gained momentum towards the end, perhaps knowing that he was totally blowing this Popsicle stand once the election was over).
Al is more like Ed than he is like Alan. A matter of fact, he's a lot like Ed, only Al (shock of shocks) is slightly more responsible about the words that come flying out of his mouth. Dare I say it: he has some restraint compared to the feral Schultz. That said, Al is as much of a scheming, sly opportunist as Hannity and a likely bit smarter around the mouth area. He will be bringing a gun underneath that James Brown perm to the knife fight? You know the Good Reverend always does!
So what is this? Suicidal or crazy like a FOX News show? I think it's a little of both. And if Hannity is savvy, he will bring on more lefty whackadooes and less Liberal cockadoos, re: people as nutters as he is on the left, to produce a more "entertaining" fight for the masses. Plus, he might get some people other than the regulars to watch the show and all TV news is turning into shouting as a viable public discourse so, why not? He could actually claim the "high horse" over Keith Olbermann and charge that he at least has Liberals on his show to mock regularly, as opposed to fellow ideologues and "impartial" beat reporters.
And that is my biggest criticism of Keith, who I enjoy occasionally, but sometimes annoys the shit out of me. At least Chris Matthews and Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly invite the opposition onto Hardball and The Factor to get shouted down and berated like the condemned, sans ciggie, in front of a loud, obnoxious, verbal-diarrhea afflicted firing squad. Keith is as loud as the rest of them. What gives? Why is lovable, hateful, crazy Pat Buchanan the only member of the Fightin' Fruitcakes to get an occasional spot at the table? I mean, I love crazy Pat the Bigot as much as the next person, but, c'mon, you could have his equally hateful sister, Bay, on once and awhile! Jon Stewart does!
But back to the question at hand: Hannity versus Sharpton -- will you watch? (Or will you watch it on YouTube, I should say. I know some of us are pretty adamant about not supporting FOX in any form.)
The new Alan Colmes-less Hannity premieres Monday with frequent Fox News guest Al Sharpton filling the liberal seat on Sean Hannity's newly christened "Great American Panel."
Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-Minn.) will fill the seat on the right. (And she should have plenty to talk about given the Senate dispute in her state between Al Franken and Norm Coleman.) ...
Hannity will employ a rotating panel in lieu of a permanent ideological counterpoint. The show will also bow a few new elements including the Hate Hannity Hotline featuring highlights from Hannity haters.
Side note: If Hannity's show does turn into "Fight Club" would this mean that FOX News has actually recreated CNN's "iconic" (and I say that ironically) original political fight club show, Crossfire? And does that mean Jon Stewart can get invited on to kill the show again? Because that, my friend, that was awesome. Jon Stewart KILLED A SHOW!
I'm watching Democratic commentator/strategist super cool lady Donna Brazile host CNN's "After Party," a bipartisan, but friendly chatfest featuring the likes of conservatives and Liberals hacks, including my favorite curly haired conservative bandit, Amy Holmes. Who, on Sunday, is talking all kinds of sense right now and scaring me. (I really like the dark brown hair and glasses on her. How does she know how to dress to keep me from hating her. HOW???) But while watching it I was amazed at how lovely Brazile's halo of silver hair is looking then thought ... who's hotter of CNN's "Silver Foxes" -- Donna "You're Not My Boo" Brazille, Wolf "This is as high as my voice goes" Blitzer or the original sexy Silver Fox, Anderson "Nothing gets between me and my Vanderbilts" Cooper?
Fight among yourselves, but remember, hotness isn't just about sex appeal (Anderson!), a lot of it is about attitude and I have a feeling that Brazile was a MACK in her day. You gotta watch that one. She's too sharp and will cut you. As for Blitzer, um ... I have issues with the lack of emotional inflection in his voice. I've already admitted that I like my anchors one part dashing, three parts completely insane (but not Rick "Rob Riggle" Sanchez insane. More like CBS's Scott Pelley/former CBS anchor Gunga Dan Rather insane. War correspondents Michael Ware, Lara Logan, "what helmet?" insane. Or Ann Curry and Hotb Kota's rambling, sexy, I don't know what she's on but I want to smoke it hawt.)
Blitzer just isn't CRAZY enough for me. But I have a feeling Brazile and Coop-A-Doop can bring it.
Why do others care? It's Ann Coulter. She's two steps from self-immolation just to sell a book. And she's impervious to insults because, seriously, what can you say about the bag-o-bones that hasn't been said before? Isn't it just sad and funny now? Yet, this is everywhere so ... HERE IT IS ON THE SNOB!
Coulter wrote, "Her obvious imitation of Jackie O's style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls - would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint."(Huffington Post)
Oh, SNAP! Damn, Ann! Can't top that one! Michelle's a bootleg Jackie O. clone and she's married to B. Hussein Obama. Dammit woman, get some new material! If you're going to raise my ire at least make an effort. This is sooo not low blow enough. Where are all the cocaine references? The misuse of hip hop slang? The "angry black woman" shizz? Accuse Michelle of sucking the blood of dead fetuses or something to keep her youthful sheen. Baby rape is always a winner. Trust!
Maybe you can find some new 9-11 wives to mock. Maybe military widows this time.
OK, Ragedy Ann, I'll quit my mockery and admit my obvious bias. When it comes to conservative female pundits, I have picked my poisons -- James Carville's equally nutters wife Mary Matalin; the original Ann Coulter (but better, bitchier and, dare I say it, smarter) Bay Buchanan; CNN conservative/independent darling Amy Holmes and the equally hateful, but more entertaining Laura Ingraham. GO AWAY, Ann! I can't take someone who took the Prince of Darkness to the prom seriously. Amy AT LEAST goes for cute Jew boys. Have some STANDARDS!!!
The Black Snob's one (and only) defense of Gov. Sarah Palin. Governor, you're welcome in advance.
Palin was apparently a nightmare for her campaign staff to deal with. She refused preparation help for her interview with Katie Couric and then blamed her staff, specifically Nicole Wallace, when the interview was panned as a disaster. After the Couric interview, Fox News reported, Palin turned nasty with her staff and began to accuse them of mishandling her. Palin would view press clippings of herself in the morning and throw "tantrums" over the negative coverage. There were times when she would be so nasty and angry that her staff was reduced to tears. (From the notes of FOX News Chief Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, Huffington Post)
Stop, anonymous McCain heads and Monday morning quarterbacking Republican pundits.
Just. Stop.
You know what I'm talking about.
Stop bashing Miss Wasilla, Sarah Palin, aka "Caribou Barbie." Yeah, yeah. During the election we all had our fun and our Tina Fey impressions and our "I can see Russia from my house" joke variations. All that was great. But to listen to the "anonymous" Round Robin of McCain insiders who say everything from she didn't know Africa from country or contintent to she couldn't name the members of North American Trade Agreement to that she used her status to become a "Wasilla hillbilly looting Nieman Marcuses from coast to coast" is ... how can I but this? In really, really, really poor taste. Harping constantly about how she pushed to speak on concession night andrefused to cram the night before her "big exam" with Kaite Couric says to me you are throwing poo because you want no one to look at you.
Some of the leaks are just catty. Like telling the press she once answered her hotel door in a towel and wet hair, also in a towel. What the hell does that have to do with her being a nightmare candidate? What is that supposed to imply? That she's immoral because she answered a door in a towl? That she's undignified? Wasn't that 90 percent of her appeal for the base? The fact that she was ... ahem ... "real?"
This "Sarah Palin was an ignorant, ungrateful $2,500 borrow suit coat wearing bitch" attack meme is not working on me. Even with a GOP lawyer dispatched to the frozen tundra to take back that expensive packaging and window dressing called designer suits and shoes.
You do realize, Anonymous McCain staffers when you point a finger three more point back at you? That in doing this you are further more soldifying the fact that it was, as John McCain said in his concession speech, his own failings which brought about the loss. One of those failings was Sarah Palin, a women he'd only met twice before offering her the job. It was he who picked this Nieman Marcus grifting Hillbilly who allegedly didn't know diddly about squat. "Country First" was the slogan. Who's country came first when McCain picked the alleged ignoramous, one we were repeated told was the future of the Republican Party the past two months?
These same staffers protected, defended and lied for her when the left pointed out and mocked her flaws. But when the loss hit and hit hard instead of looking within and finding their own mistakes, they've gone feral, launching the malicious, sexist attacks many accused lefties of once pulling. You have chosen this instead of going "maybe we could have responded faster to the financial crisis? Maybe 'suspending' the campaign looked like grandstanding? Maybe we did a poor job of explaining 'why McCain' while shouting 'Nobama?' Maybe we had no coherent strategy? Maybe we never knew or understood how to handle the race issue or Obama's rock star status -- other than bitch about him being a 'celebrity?' Maybe we ran McCain's campaign into the ground? Maybe he ran his campaign into the ground? The man wouldn't even work on weekends. Maybe it was because all we had were stunts and tactics but no real transformative ideas? Maybe Obama's digital and we're analog? Maybe Obama's a Mac and we're a PC? Maybe we suck?"
And if they'd ask themseves these questions they would know the truth.
You're a bunch of sour losing sons-of-bitches who, rather than be introspective and use this time to figure out where the hell you went wrong, chose to blame the bitch, the oldest routine in the book. You've already branded Palin with a scarlet letter "C" for campaign wrecker when -- j' accuse! -- It was you, all of you, McCain from the top down, complicit in this catagory five failure of temperment and judgment. The people wanted change. You couldn't offer it so you simply ripped off the word and started calling yourselves "the Original Mavericks." You went narrow when you should have made a play for the center. You picked up lame attacks that made little to no dent once the defening sound of the housing crisis imploding and Wall Street crashing came down.
Palin may have gone off script, been opportunistic, been a dim bulb, but it was the McCain campaign who was paraded her around like their new prize pony. Who sprung her from obscurity to infamy. Then you get mad because the prize pony is a "maverick" and just does "whatever." She doesn't read things. She's out for self. As I said before. If I was the lummox, I would be too. As repellent as I found her views, she was being used by the McCain campaign to ignite a recalcitrant base, and they got that.
They just lost everyone else.
That's how gambling works, McCain and anonymous McCain staffers. When you throw the die and it comes up snake eyes you don't curse the dice. You gave fate a roll and she bum-rolled you, Rick-rolled you, sushi rolled you. As The Stranger said in The Big Lebowski, "Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you."
The "bar" just fucking ate you because of your incompetence. Deal with it! Get therapy!
And McCain? To stand silent while your running mate's legend as a moron increases is really classy, and I say "classy" as in not classy at all. It reveals your true character. Are you that compassionate, magnanimous loser from Tuesday night or are you the son of a bitch who can't say, "Knock it off, people I hired! We lost! Sarah's flawed, but the blame is shared and the bulk of it lies with me." But instead we get ... silence.
I thought she was was ready to be your vice president, Johnny Mac? I thought she was your "soul mate?" Yet there you are in the busted "Stray Talk Express" pretending to look the other way as your staffers hogtie her to the ground so you can accidently run her over a few times.
Yes, she's cocky. Yes, she's a know-nothing. But she was YOUR know-nothing. You picked the Alaska disasta.' She was your one real chance to show your executive decision making ability and you came up craps. Well, tough titty, Senator. Stand up, stand behind, stand somewhere on your decisions. Admit that it's not her, it was you. Even if you hate her. Even if you wouldn't talk to her for most of those two months. Even though you both could read the writing on the wall. You wanted your pitbull in a skirt. You wanted this dinner of regret and crow, knowing now you will never be president, knowing you were destroyed by your own bad decisions on top of the failures of the Bush Administration and hundreds of other Republican politicians and operatives.
Invite your little bitter ones to your royal feast and tell them all to shut the hell up. While making Palin look bad, they are making themselves and their former boss look ever more the worse.
Personal responsibility shouldn't just be a political catchphrase every four years. Learn it. Love it. Live it. Practice what you preached, Republicans. Show. Don't tell.
Conservative critics Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy bemoan the Palin Pick off-camera as "cynical" and "political bullshit" on MSNBC. Beware of the hot mike! They're not just getting Jesse this year!
After a segment with NBC's Chuck Todd ended today, Republican consultant Mike Murphy and Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan were caught on a live mike ridiculing the choice of Sarah Palin.
"It's over," said Noonan, who then responded to a question of whether Palin is the most qualified Republican woman McCain could have chosen.
"The most qualified? No. I think they went for this — excuse me — political bullsh** about narratives," she said. "Every time Republicans do that ... because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at and they blow it."
Murphy chimed in:
"The greatness of McCain is no cynicism, and this is cynical."
The votes were tallied and the results are in! From all your ballots I learned one thing ... you folks really love you some Donna Brazile. Seriously. (I also learned that a lot of you have sick, sick bushy eyebrow fetishes!)
Here are your "Top Pundits" along with my own personal pundit picks and opinions below.
"Love her she is such a straight shooter. The smartest in the business," -- an anonymous voter
Brazile was a big favorite in every category she competed in, but she beat out Keith Olbermann by one point to be at the top of the "Top Five Pundits" heap. Here are your top five pundits.
1. Donna Brazile 2. Keith Olbermann 3. Rachel Maddow 4. Jamal Simmons 5. (Tie) Roland Martin/Gwen Ifil
Snob Picks!
The Snob really enjoys pundits who bring the crazy like it's never been brought, so all my Top Pundits are about who is best a verbal calisthenics, bringing drama and making good trainwreck television. The Krav Maga masters of political hardball. I like all the sane, rational, smart people you guys picked, but with the exception of Olbermann, all those choices were a little too sane for me.
Give me the Fruit Loops!
1. James Carville and/or Mary Matalin 2. Patrick J. Buchanan (What an AMAZING bigot. Breath-taking really.) 3. Chris Matthews 4. Jim McLaughlin ("Bye! Bye!") 5. Keith Olbermann
They're crazy in love with hate ... on you or anyone else who gets in their way. It was a tie between O'Reilly and Limbaugh for nuttiest of the nuts (with Sean Hannity at a close second). One of you pointed out that Rush is a former drug addict which might explain his insanity. Perhaps it was self-medication for some preexisting mental illness.
"(H)e's been spouting ignorance before a lot of us were born so hands down he wins," wrote commenter Ms. B.
As for Hannity's closely seconded certifiable papers, commenters said he was Loony Toons, "No Diggity, No Doubt." Others were more blunt in their critiques. "What a serious unadulterated douchebag," wrote Anarchy 1.
1. (Tie) Rush Limbaugh/Bill O'Reilly 2. Sean Hannity 3. Chris Matthews
Snob Pick!
Chris Matthews
Commenter Lisa Marie Turtle, like myself, picked Chris Matthews as the real loon in the bin.
"I'm sure most people will say Bill O'Reilly or Glen Beck but I think Chris Matthew's lunacy is ignored far too often. I mean, he's considered crazy in general but I think he might be certifiable. He also comes across as emotionally unstable," she writes.
No joke. The man issued an almost one minute apology on his show to women viewers he offended in his Hillary bashing and general sexist attitude, then went right back to stammering over people and saying things seen as "inappropriate" by all of us with vaginas. Or with permanent tans. Or ... basically anyone.
The man is like a jabbering, Kennedy obsessed, emotional drunk. Occasionally though he'll sober up enough to issue a well-deserved (or not well-deserved) verbal beatdown. You cannot out talk Chris Matthews. He will invite you to be on his show and he will not allow you to say one word because he has a point somewhere in his Rather-esque attempts to turn a pretty phrase, instead he mauls, mangles and molests the English language.
Crazy pants, all the way.
"Okay I hate the eyebrows too - but come on now - he is pretty fly for a political pundit," -- Hollins JD Princess
"Let me tweeze those brows." -- Ms. B
"I don't understand why there are other names on the list." -- Lisa Marie Turtle
It's gotta be the eyebrows. "Those sexy bushy brows!" gushed one reader. Obviously, The Snob has an overwhelming number of female (or gay) readers who feen for Jamal Simmons and his bushylicious eyebrows. He ran away in the voting leaving his sparring partner and conservative counterpart Amy Holmes a distant second. Commenter Bronze Trinity called Simmons a "good looking brotha and educated, and polite."
1. Jamal Simmons 2. Amy Holmes 3. Michelle D. Bernard
Snob Pick!
I think I may be one of the few black women immune to Jamal's bushy charms. With this category based purely on appearance (and not opinion), I have to give the edge to Amy Holmes and Harold Ford Jr.
Hannity barely beat out Ann Coulter for the "I Hate (or Strongly Dislike) You" Award. Since he was already labeled a "douchebag" when he came in second for "Most Insane," I'm going to go on the record and say you don't like the guy. You really don't like him.
1. Sean Hannity 2. Ann Coulter 3. (Tie) Bill O'Reilly/Patrick J. Buchanan
Snob Pick!
This was a tough one. I couldn't decide who was worse: Limbaugh, Hannity or O'Reilly. But I also think the power of these three involves a lot of hype. I probably hate Michelle Malkin the most because she said the US government was right in arresting Japanese citizens during WWII and placing them in detention camps. They were citizens. American citizens. The majority born here. Their sons were allowed to serve and die for their country, but their parents, friends and relatives remained locked up simply because they were Japanese. So, ahem, screw you, Michelle Malkin.
"I can't stand him. I literally want to punch him. 'Barack Obama is a politician, Jesse Jackson is a prophet.' That statement alone is enough reason for him to never speak in a public forum again. I can't believe I didn't pick Al Sharpton," -- Lisa Marie Turtle
Dyson barely beat out Jesse Jackson for this honor. I'm happy to know that I wasn't the only one, as he was my pick to STFU too. Despite many of us sometimes agreeing with Dyson, he is simply so annoying that even when you second that motion you want to chop block him in the throat.
Snob Pick!
Dyson. All the way to the bank. No more hip hop lyrics when answering questions. You are not cool.
I get it. You love Donna. She's the awesome. She's funny. She's smart. She always gets in her point and rarely makes mistakes. She will not be buffaloed, punked or tricked. And she is not your boo. Seriously.
1. Donna Brazile 2. Rachel Maddow 3. (Tie) Keith Olbermann/Arianna Huffington
Snob Pick!
Tie between Maddow and Brazile
I hate to break it to many Snob readers, but Williams is, in fact, a lefty. He is pro-abortion and pro-birth control. He leans left on almost all social issues. He just has a little "disagreement" with black folks over his views on ... black folks. But take away the race factor (and him being a Bill O'Reilly apologist) and Williams is technically a left-leaning centrist.
1. Juan Williams 2. Maureen Dowd 3. Harold Ford Jr.
Snob pick!
Gah. Maureen Dowd. We're having the most torrid love/hate affair of the century.
Michelle Bernard is actually a right-leaning centrist. (I think she calls herself an independent as the head of the Independent Women's Forum). She just barely beat out Amy Holmes, who many of you picked as a second while admitting that you pretty much hate everything Holmes says.
1. Michelle Bernard 2. Amy Holmes 3. Andrew Sullivan
Snob Pick!
Peggy Noonan ("She just seems like a grandma. An evil Republican grandma," reader Nay)
Can't say I was surprised here. It was a landslide for the oft-bowtied, "dickish" Carlson, who seems to rub almost everyone the wrong way with his prickish nature. He's not a "cool" or "hip" or even interesting conservative pundit. He's not a charming blowhard or a snarky blonde. And the IRONY of hearing him talk about Obama as "elitist" was almost unbearable as Carlson doesn't look like he's ever skipped a fine glass of Chablis or platter of brie and goose liver patte his entire life.
Carlson beat out the now ailing Prince of Darkness, Bob Novak, who recently retired after being diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor.
1. Tucker Carlson 2. Bob Novak 3. (Tie) Joe Scarborough/Armstrong Williams
Snob Pick!
I don't know why I didn't put down Ron Christie because if I were a Republican he would be the last guy I'd want out there shilling the party brand. But since I didn't put down Christie I'll have to go with a tie between Carlson and Leslie Sanchez. I actually kind of like Leslie Sanchez, mostly because no matter how dire the news she always finds a way to flip it and make it a good thing for the Republicans. Where Bill Bennett and Carlson give in or recede on some arguments, Sanchez proudly marches on. I admire that in a hack.
As for Carlson, commenter Whitty sums up my feelings for the guy.
"I feel bad for him."
I do too, Whitty. I do too. So sad and such a douche.
In the rush for the middle there was a three-way traffic jam. Bernard, Martin and Toobin made out equally in the vote count, even if many of you were suspicious about their leanings. Many doubted Martin as a centrist, but due to a tersely worded comment he wrote me a while back, Martin sees himself as an impartial eye on this whole election. Bernard holds the middle mantel, while Toobin, primarily a legal scholar, sometimes chimes in on political issues and is usual devastating in what he dishes out.
Snob Pick!
Toobin, all the way.
Bill Maher kicked this category's ass. He won by an overwhelming majority leaving his competitors in the dust. I had one Rev. Wright honorary write in that I feel I must give props too, but other than that, this award is all for that stripper dating, hoochie loving, politically incorrect Maher.
1. Bill Maher 2. (Tie) Jack Cafferty/Patrick J. Buchanan
Snob Pick!
I like Maher and enjoy him, but I have to get it to the Inglorious Bastard himself, Patrick J. Buchanan. He may be crazy and may be a bigot, but he is the only one willing to speak the truth about how a lot of Americans really think about black people, immigrants, Mexicans, women folk, crime, etc. Truth hurts, but as I often say while watching "Hardball," "LET THE BIGOT SPEAK!" He may be an asshole, but he's a honest asshole. I trust his opinion on how "working class white people" think more so than Chris Matthews, who keeps repeating the same, kumbya, "My kids don't even think or notice race" horse manure.
Jon Stewart is a genius, beating out fellow comedic geniuses Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert and Lewis Black. He is also The Snob pick. I love the man. If he didn't already have a wife I'd consider putting up with him and the nebbishness.
1. Jon Stewart 2. Stephen Colbert 3. Bill Maher
So many people did not want to pick among the three (non?)blondes who competed for this top spot as the best combination of Nordic looks and insanity. But there were still enough votes to crown Coulter the queen of the hate-filled banshees. Laura Ingraham, The Snob pick, came in second. I think Coulter's act is a tired form of performance art that even she doesn't believe anymore, but still goes through the "trying to be edgy" motions.
Ingraham on the other hand, her voice is like nails on a chalk board as she rips her way through people. Her brand of crazy also feels a little more authentic even if it too might be performance art. I always struggle with understanding bossy, aggressive women operating in a man's forum advocating the conservative philosophy of women knowing their place, while at the same time arguing that no one better put a burkha on them.
Wait? Are you submissive or not? Are you for the feminist ideals that allow you to speak your mind in a miniskirt or are you against feminism ... that allowed you to speak your mind in a miniskirt? Very confusing!
There wasn't even a contest. You went 15-to-1 for Olbermann. His closest competitor, Rachel Maddow, got one lonely vote. I don't know when it sunk in for me. Perhaps it was when he started directly apologizing to the victims of Republican attacks on behalf of the recalcitrant Republicans. Maybe it was when he would get all sanctimonious about some issue like he felt our pain more poetically worded and sacrificial lamb-like. During primary nights I thought I saw him afflicted with stigmata once or twice. The Holier-Than-Thou, Gandlafian "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" way that he rips into opponents. The self-deprecation mixed with his fecal matter throwing spat with Bill-O.
He's a bleeder, all right.
Here is where we agree. "Hardball with Chris Matthews" is a guilty pleasure of mine. The show offers no substance. The debates are often superficial, as are the pundits who usually frequent the show. But Matthews, like the Mad Hatter of politics conducts this fool's symphony every week night, bumbling, slurring his words along as he spits out answers and screams all over the people he invited to his party. People he invited simply to insult. But like the Mad Hatter, Matthews seems to really love what he's doing. He's quite jubilant and perky about it. Both churlish and girlish in his glee. He's the only pundit I know of who caused an old Southern to wish that he could re-institute a now illegal form of retribution.
Zell Miller called Matthews out "for a duel." But not pistols for Matthews. He prefers a microphone.
1. Chris Matthews 2. Bill O'Reilly 3. (Tie) James Carville/Mary Matalin/Michelle Malkin
Many of you don't want to give up on Ford or Tavis Smiley, who came in second. I, personally, think Paul Zahn could be rehabilitated and put to some use, but, eh ... pundits are people too. Sometimes they deserve a second chance. So come on Ford, as one commenter wrote "pick a side." You could get hit by a car wandering in the middle of that road.
Day of Blogging For Justice: The AfroSpear has declared Wednesday a day to spread awareness of the abuse of tasers by law enforcement. These acts sometimes ending in death for the people they encounter. This is a huge problem very few in the press are talking about, other than showing the occasional cop cruiser video of "Don't Tase Me, Bro" taser abuse exploitation.
The reality is these devices, intended to make things safer for police and suspects, are being misused to the point that people are being seriously harmed or tortured for little to no reason. With the false mental concept that tasering doesn't cause lasting damage, it has become the weapon of choice in situations that don't warrant its use, sometimes amounting to a death sentence for the unfortunate individuals being tased.
It's a sad truth, but because it is the poor, the black and the brown who often are the target of this thuggery, little attention has been brought to the cases of a suicidal man tasered on a bridge, causing him to fall to his death or a pregnant black woman being tasered in Ohio or the case of a black man dead when he went to the police for help and was tasered. But the larger reality is if the police feel comfortable with abusing society's "undesirables" and ethnic minorities with them, they're not going to think twice about using them on anyone else. But we don't want to wait for them to taser Lindsay Lohan to death to get people to care.
The blog Tasered While Black has even more disturbing stories of tasers being used as a torture device when in the wrong hands.
For those who have blogs or Web sites and want to spread awareness, you can obtain this anti-taser abuse widget here and place it on your site.
It's sad to know that something meant to save lives is now being abused to end them. With everyone from teenage girls to college students to pregnant women being targets and suspects being tased to death or torture via tasers in prison, it's necessary to spread awareness that this device's use needs to be monitors as closely as the use of a gun or any other form of excessive force.
IN OTHER NEWS:
I'm still accepting submissions for "Doomed Romance." So far I've received four. I'd like to get at least five or more (the more the merrier) for the series. (Ideally, I'd like 10 so I could do a two week series like I did with "Mothers and Daughters.") You can send your stories to me (500 words or less, if you can) at blacksnob@gmail.com. All stories will be reprinted anonymously.
There's still time to vote for your favorite (and not favorite) pundits in Black Snob's "America's Next Top Pundit" poll. I'm noticing that a lot of people hate Sean Hannity. Not surprising with his Obama is a secret Muslim who belonged to crazy "whitey" hating black Christian Church. I'm not even going into that nonsensical thinking. (Pick ONE, Sean! Secret Muslim or Crazy Christian. ONE!) And a lot of people lurveDonna Brazile (You're not her boo!) And a lot of folks are not voting for their favorite Republican blonde fembot! C'mon! You have to enjoy the insanity of at least one!
Today is Big Sis' birthday. The eldest Snob Sister has turned 35. We shall commemorate this day with banana cake and stories of how she terrorized me as a child by telling my my braids were really worms growing out of my head and abandoning me in the scary basement under guises that she's "be right back" after going to the restroom.
The show was CNN's 24-year-old political stalwart,Crossfire, then hosted by Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson.
For shits and giggles they invited Comedy Central'sThe Daily Show host and comedian Jon Stewart. Stewart started with a smile, but began the most uncomfortable, historic dismantling of a political talk show in the history of TV shark jumping. Stewart verbally tore down the set, particle board for particle board imploring that in the midst of 2004's heated political decision that Begala and Carlson were engaging in nonsensical political hackery for theater that had little to do with informing the American public.
"In many ways, it's funny. And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad ... it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America. So I wanted to come here today and say .... Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America." (CNN Transcript)
My favorite moment was when Stewart told Carlson, "You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show."
It was a blow so devastating a few months later the show was canceled. Although that was not entirely Stewart's fault. The show was terrible and its ratings seem to only weaken as it evolved more and more into a three-ring circus. A far cry from the days when Tom Braden, Michael Kinsley, Pat Buchanan and Bob Novak were the regulars sitting in a dark room around a desk as part of the Mesozoic era of vintage Crossfire and McLaughlin Group.
But Stewart made his point -- the Colosseum of political discourse was more like the WWE of political punditry.
But that didn't stop the networks or the numerous reporters, lobbyists, hacks, former politicians, columnists, radio hosts, shock jocks, historians, politicos, legal experts and news junkies from their chosen profession of prognostication and making-shit-up.
To paraphrase the words of another comedian, "Pundits don't die. They multiply."
These are The Black Snob's candidates for Top Pundit 2008 (many submitted by you). Please vote for your pundit of choice in the selected categories for a later, fancy pants awards piece to run next week! (Only pick one except for in the overall punditry category where you can pick five.) Just vote in the comments below! And please, feel free to make comments why you picked which pundit. I'll be using the best quips for the story.
Top Pundit (Pick 5)
Amy Adams Rachel Maddow Jamal Simmons Andrea Mitchell Gwen Ifil Donna Brazille Harold Ford Jr. James Carville Patrick J. Buchanan Michelle Bernard Ron Christie John McWhorter Juan Williams Glenn Beck Michele Malkin Keith Olbermann Dan Abrams Laura Ingraham Michael Eric Dyson Tucker Carlson Paul Begala Ed Schultz Tavis Smiley Maureen Dowd Peggy Noonan Andrew Sullivan Christopher Hitchens Leslie Sanchez Joe Scarborough Jeffery Toobin Roland Martin Lou Dobbs Jack Cafferty
Most Insane
Mary Matalin and James Carville Patrick J. Buchanan Bill O'Reilly Michele Malkin Sean Hannity Rush Limbaugh Chris Matthews Keith Olbermann Glenn Beck Lou Dobbs Jim McLaughlin
Best Looking
Jamal Simmons Amy Adams Harold Ford Jr. Michelle Malkin Michelle D. Bernard Kelly Ann Conway
I Hate You
Bill O'Reilly Patrick J. Buchanan Amy Holmes Michelle Malkin Sean Hannity Rush Limbaugh Ann Coulter
Please Shut Up Award
James Carville Michael Eric Dyson Tucker Carlson Tavis Smiley Ed Schultz Paul Begala Al Sharpton Glenn Beck Jesse Jackson
Best Lefties
Michael Eric Dyson Paul Begala Donna Brazille Eugene Robinson Cynthia Tucker Keith Olbermann Arianna Huffington Rachel Maddow Alan Combs Mark Lamont Hill Dan Abrams
Worst Lefties
Bob Shrum Juan Williams Dick Morris Maureen Dowd Keith Olbermann Ed Schultz Harold Ford Jr.
Best Righties
Michelle Bernard Jim McLaughlin Alex Castellanos Andrew Sullivan Peggy Noonan Amy Holmes
Worst Righties
George Will Bob Novak Armstrong Williams William Bennett Tucker Carlson Leslie Sanchez Monica Crawley Joe Scarborough Amy Holmes Laurence Kudlow
The Center, Really?
Roland Martin Michelle Bernard Juan Williams John McWhorter Jeffery Toobin Christopher Hitchens
Best People Who Will Tell You What You Don't Want to Hear
Christopher Hitchens John McWhorter Patrick J. Buchanan Jeffery Toobin Jack Cafferty Bill Maher
Best Satirist
Bill Maher Jon Stewart Stephen Colbert Lewis Black
Best Blonde Conservative Fembot
Laura Ingraham Ann Coulter Kelly Anne (Fitzpatrick) Conway
Biggest Bleeding Liberal
Keith Olbermann Paul Krugman Rachel Maddow Alan Combs Dan Abrams
Best Trainwreck
Michele Malkin James Carville and Mary Matalin Glen Beck Ed Shultz Lou Dobbs Bill O'Reilly Chris Matthews Laura Ingraham Ron Christie Keith Olbermann Patrick J. Buchanan
On the bubble
Harold Ford Jr. Gloria Berger Jonathan Alter Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson Star Parker Paula Zahn David Gregory Larry Elder Andrea Mitchell Tavis Smiley
Vote early and vote often! You have until next Wednesday to make your opinion known! You can also email me your views at blacksnob@gmail.com.
Have you loved your pundit today? (CNN's Amy Holmes and Jamal Simmons)
Pundits. The whipping children of cable news.
I often blame pundits for either being horrendous political hacks or scurrilous pontificating pimps, shilling books and bad ideas for cash. But despite all my kvetching, secretly, I love pundits. They're hilarious. And some of them, even the ones I hate, aren't that bad. (I'm still convinced "Ann Coulter" is some form of performance shock art.) So in light of this political season I am soliciting a list from you, the readers of the pundits, surrogates and political prognosticators you love, hate and love to hate.
These are individuals like Juan Williams, Michelle Bernard, Gwen Ifill, Rachel Maddow, Amy Holmes, Jamal Simmons, Michael Eric Dyson, Paul Begala, Bill Bennett, Jim McLaughlin, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, Tucker Carlson, David Brooks, Thomas L. Friedman, Paul Krugman, James Carville, Howard Fineman, Gloria Borger, Roland Martin, Bob Shrum, Donna Brazile, Leslie Sanchez, Alex Castellanos, Andrea Mitchell, Eugene Robinson, George Will, Michele Malkin, Harold Ford Jr., Linda Chavez, Bill Kristol, Pat Buchanan, Kellyanne Conway (nee Fitzpatrick), Clarence Page, Mary Matalin, Bob Herbert, Michelle Norris, Karl Rove, Dick Morris, John McWhorter, Maureen Dowd, Robert Johnson, Michael Steele, Ed Shultz, Jesse Jackson, Carl Bernstein, Al Sharpton, Tavis Smiley, Eleanor Clift, Monica Crowley, Mort Zuckerman, Lawrence O'Donnell, Chris Cilizza, Maria Bartiromo, John Podhoretz, Bob Novak, Chris Matthews, Sean Hannity, Nina Easton, Arianna Huffington, Joe Klein, Jeffrey Toobin, Armstrong Williams, Glenn Beck, Christopher Hitchens and much, much more.
Please rank your top five loves and top five hates with a few thrown in that you love to hate. And please, do explain why you love, hate or love to hate them. I'll be using the data to put up my GREAT WALL OF POLITICAL PUNDITRY, with your comments included. There will be an official Top 10 loves/hates category as well as a special honorable mention for those we hate, but are glad to see on the air anyway.
Truthfulness is appreciated. After all, you all know my feelings towards Amy Holmes, who should bother me more, but doesn't. For some background checkout this New York Times piece on the increasing diversity in pundits that ran back in April. (Can't place that pundit? See graphic here.)
Send your rankings to moi via email at blacksnob@gmail.com or post them in the thread below! The deadline for all entries is a week from now with the story running Monday, July 21.
My one true criticism of Hannity (coveted winner of The Black Snob's "Most Hated" award on "Top Pundit") was that it was unfair to bring the mild-mannered, librarian like Colmes to his Fight Night at the Apollo Creed-like show. If he had his druthers and really wanted to stir up things he'd have on someone as loud and crazy as himself, like Ed Schultz, who I can't stand, because he is just as irresponsible with his words and conspiracy theories as Hannity is. A nut should fight a nut, but no, he picked Colmes to berate and mock because he wanted to promote the stereotype of the wimpy, effete Liberal (even though Colmes sort of developed a bit of a spine as Obama gained momentum towards the end, perhaps knowing that he was totally blowing this Popsicle stand once the election was over).
