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Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Brilliant or Trainwreck: Sharpton's Perm Versus Hannity's Mouth! You Watch! You Decide!

For some reason, after years of using Alan Colmes as a personal punching bag for bringing a thesaurus to a knife fight, Sean Hannity is doing to pre-inaugural stunt casting and has invited Rev. Al Sharpton and Meatloaf to an upcoming segment of his shout-fest on FOX News. I don't know if this is just to stir up some trouble/ratings, but say what you will about the Good Reverend Al -- he's no Al Colmes.

My one true criticism of Hannity (coveted winner of The Black Snob's "Most Hated" award on "Top Pundit") was that it was unfair to bring the mild-mannered, librarian like Colmes to his Fight Night at the Apollo Creed-like show. If he had his druthers and really wanted to stir up things he'd have on someone as loud and crazy as himself, like Ed Schultz, who I can't stand, because he is just as irresponsible with his words and conspiracy theories as Hannity is. A nut should fight a nut, but no, he picked Colmes to berate and mock because he wanted to promote the stereotype of the wimpy, effete Liberal (even though Colmes sort of developed a bit of a spine as Obama gained momentum towards the end, perhaps knowing that he was totally blowing this Popsicle stand once the election was over).

Al is more like Ed than he is like Alan. A matter of fact, he's a lot like Ed, only Al (shock of shocks) is slightly more responsible about the words that come flying out of his mouth. Dare I say it: he has some restraint compared to the feral Schultz. That said, Al is as much of a scheming, sly opportunist as Hannity and a likely bit smarter around the mouth area. He will be bringing a gun underneath that James Brown perm to the knife fight? You know the Good Reverend always does!

So what is this? Suicidal or crazy like a FOX News show? I think it's a little of both. And if Hannity is savvy, he will bring on more lefty whackadooes and less Liberal cockadoos, re: people as nutters as he is on the left, to produce a more "entertaining" fight for the masses. Plus, he might get some people other than the regulars to watch the show and all TV news is turning into shouting as a viable public discourse so, why not? He could actually claim the "high horse" over Keith Olbermann and charge that he at least has Liberals on his show to mock regularly, as opposed to fellow ideologues and "impartial" beat reporters.

And that is my biggest criticism of Keith, who I enjoy occasionally, but sometimes annoys the shit out of me. At least Chris Matthews and Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly invite the opposition onto Hardball and The Factor to get shouted down and berated like the condemned, sans ciggie, in front of a loud, obnoxious, verbal-diarrhea afflicted firing squad. Keith is as loud as the rest of them. What gives? Why is lovable, hateful, crazy Pat Buchanan the only member of the Fightin' Fruitcakes to get an occasional spot at the table? I mean, I love crazy Pat the Bigot as much as the next person, but, c'mon, you could have his equally hateful sister, Bay, on once and awhile! Jon Stewart does!

But back to the question at hand: Hannity versus Sharpton -- will you watch? (Or will you watch it on YouTube, I should say. I know some of us are pretty adamant about not supporting FOX in any form.)

The fight will go down on Monday. Here's the take from Broadcasting & Cable's report:

The new Alan Colmes-less Hannity premieres Monday with frequent Fox News guest Al Sharpton filling the liberal seat on Sean Hannity's newly christened "Great American Panel."

Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-Minn.) will fill the seat on the right. (And she should have plenty to talk about given the Senate dispute in her state between Al Franken and Norm Coleman.) ...

Hannity will employ a rotating panel in lieu of a permanent ideological counterpoint. The show will also bow a few new elements including the Hate Hannity Hotline featuring highlights from Hannity haters.

Side note: If Hannity's show does turn into "Fight Club" would this mean that FOX News has actually recreated CNN's "iconic" (and I say that ironically) original political fight club show, Crossfire? And does that mean Jon Stewart can get invited on to kill the show again? Because that, my friend, that was awesome. Jon Stewart KILLED A SHOW!

Stop hurting America, Hannity!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Would Someone Please Tell Sarah Palin She Is "NOT HELPING" Herself?

This week on "The Perils of Sarah Palin," Alaska governor, veepstakes loser Sarah Palin continued jumping in front of microphones and cameras and saying things that never needed to be said for ... I don't know ... the amusement of schadenfreude loving Liberals? Late night comics? Evil Keith Olbermann? Why is she talking again? (And why is Joe the Not Plumber going to Israel to cover the bloodbath in Gaza?)

But most of all, why is she talking about this?

Palin also complained about reports suggesting that Trig Palin was not her son and said she was "frustrated" by rampant rumors about her and her family. However, mainstream media stayed away from such rumors, which were fueled by bloggers and others online and the supermarket tabloids.

"I wasn't believed that Trig was really my son," she said. She called it a "sad state of affairs."

"What is the double-standard here?" she asked. "Why would people choose to believe lies? What is it that drives people to believe the worst, perpetuate the worst?"

"When did we start accepting as hard news sources bloggers, anonymous bloggers especially?" she asked. (Huffington Post)

Why does Palin even bring up Andrew Sullivan's favorite sexy Palin conspiracy theory? No one in TV or in print touched this shit as they did not want it to get on them, stinking up the joint. This was PURELY an internet phenomenon. Yet, she talks about it openly as if the New York Times had reporters bribing her OB/GYN. As if Bill O'Reilly was giving in-depth chats on the status of her daughter's hymien with the rest of The Factor. Why even discuss it, you media-un-savvy nimrod? Why?

As I wrote on Facebook Friday (and feel compelled to share here), I just don't get why she would even bring it up or entertain questions about it. It would be akin to Hillary Clinton taking questions about her assistant allegedly being her Lesbian lover or that she killed Vince Foster. I mean, no one who considers themselves serious media would touch that shit with a 10 foot pole, but Sarah is literally dancing on the pole with pasties on. I mean, GET OFF THE POLE, woman! GET OFF THE POLE!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Who's the Hotter Silver Fox?

I'm watching Democratic commentator/strategist super cool lady Donna Brazile host CNN's "After Party," a bipartisan, but friendly chatfest featuring the likes of conservatives and Liberals hacks, including my favorite curly haired conservative bandit, Amy Holmes. Who, on Sunday, is talking all kinds of sense right now and scaring me. (I really like the dark brown hair and glasses on her. How does she know how to dress to keep me from hating her. HOW???) But while watching it I was amazed at how lovely Brazile's halo of silver hair is looking then thought ... who's hotter of CNN's "Silver Foxes" -- Donna "You're Not My Boo" Brazille, Wolf "This is as high as my voice goes" Blitzer or the original sexy Silver Fox, Anderson "Nothing gets between me and my Vanderbilts" Cooper?

Fight among yourselves, but remember, hotness isn't just about sex appeal (Anderson!), a lot of it is about attitude and I have a feeling that Brazile was a MACK in her day. You gotta watch that one. She's too sharp and will cut you. As for Blitzer, um ... I have issues with the lack of emotional inflection in his voice. I've already admitted that I like my anchors one part dashing, three parts completely insane (but not Rick "Rob Riggle" Sanchez insane. More like CBS's Scott Pelley/former CBS anchor Gunga Dan Rather insane. War correspondents Michael Ware, Lara Logan, "what helmet?" insane. Or Ann Curry and Hotb Kota's rambling, sexy, I don't know what she's on but I want to smoke it hawt.)

Blitzer just isn't CRAZY enough for me. But I have a feeling Brazile and Coop-A-Doop can bring it.

Check this one from the crates!

Ann Coulter Bashed Michelle Obama's Clothes ...

... And I did not care.

Why do others care? It's Ann Coulter. She's two steps from self-immolation just to sell a book. And she's impervious to insults because, seriously, what can you say about the bag-o-bones that hasn't been said before? Isn't it just sad and funny now? Yet, this is everywhere so ... HERE IT IS ON THE SNOB!

Coulter wrote, "Her obvious imitation of Jackie O's style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls - would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint."(Huffington Post)

Oh, SNAP! Damn, Ann! Can't top that one! Michelle's a bootleg Jackie O. clone and she's married to B. Hussein Obama. Dammit woman, get some new material! If you're going to raise my ire at least make an effort. This is sooo not low blow enough. Where are all the cocaine references? The misuse of hip hop slang? The "angry black woman" shizz? Accuse Michelle of sucking the blood of dead fetuses or something to keep her youthful sheen. Baby rape is always a winner. Trust!

But ... sigh, oh, Ann, let's be honest. No one cares! Weezer said it best (don't pull my black card over Weezer), we're all on drugs! Obama drugs! Do your best (or worst). You will be a blip on the media juggernaut. (Although, I'm sure NBC will let you go on Today and Hardball and terrorize people as always. Folks love a ratings freak show!)

Maybe you can find some new 9-11 wives to mock. Maybe military widows this time.

OK, Ragedy Ann, I'll quit my mockery and admit my obvious bias. When it comes to conservative female pundits, I have picked my poisons -- James Carville's equally nutters wife Mary Matalin; the original Ann Coulter (but better, bitchier and, dare I say it, smarter) Bay Buchanan; CNN conservative/independent darling Amy Holmes and the equally hateful, but more entertaining Laura Ingraham. GO AWAY, Ann! I can't take someone who took the Prince of Darkness to the prom seriously. Amy AT LEAST goes for cute Jew boys. Have some STANDARDS!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Media Continues It's Blagojevich Wall-to-Wall Speculation Watch

... and now I'm bored.

There are a lot of things wrong with this idle, yet obsessive speculation on whether or not President-Elect Barack Obama or his Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel hob-nobbed with the Rod, but almost all those things are conversation enders and without the conversation what would anyone have to talk about? We'd be looking at a Christmas holiday of nothing but Obama "shirtless" coverage. Dullsville. Much more fun to pretend like the scandal surrounding Gov. "Hot" Rod Blagojevich has given the Obama transition team the clap.

But for the sake of argument, here are a few "conversation killers":

1) Rahm hates Blago.

2) Obama hates Blago.

3) Blago hates Obama and Rahm and allegedly complained about it quite verbally.

4) Everyone in the entire state of Illinois knew Hot Rod was under investigation by the Feds as the man has been under some form of investigation for more than two years.

5) And because Blago was under investigation no politician, regardless of party, wanted shit to do with him, including Obama who, mind you, was the Democratic nominee for president and didn't invite the governor of his state to speak at the convention, on the stump, as a surrogate or at the park after he won.

Gee. It's almost like Obama wanted NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MAN!

But, please, ignore all the empirical evidence of folks running away from Hot Rod as fast as they can. Heavens to Betsy, what would we talk about if we listened to the obvious? I suppose Blago could have just been complaining about Obama's team for poops n' giggles. Not because they wouldn't give him what he wanted or that they wouldn't play ball. Nope. Everyone sounds like good, good buddies here. Didn't the Obamas invite Hot Rod to Hawaii for fruitcake and body surfing?

Wait? He didn't?

Never mind.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Time Magazine's Inappropriately Hot, Semi-Pro Smoking Young Obama Pictorial

Time Magazine named Barack Obama "Person of the Year (duh)," but put up these gorgeous photos taken in 1980 when Obama was in college. The photos were done by a student/aspiring photographer who asked if he'd sit for some black and white pictures so she could use them in her portfolio. How insanely cool does he look here? The hat, man! The hat! It's INSANE, I tell you. He's Sammy, Dino, Frankie Blue-Eyes and Joey Bishop, Kool and the Gang meets a hot black nerd sandwich, hand-rolled into a ciggy and smoked. *Head exploded!*

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dying For Dollars

There are jobs that people take on, like becoming a police officer, firefighter or soldier, where you know there's a good chance you could die while at work. You know this. Everyone knows this.

That's why there are fund raisers for the families of those who have lost husbands and wives in shootings, fires fights or in Iraq and Afghanistan. They were doing dangerous work that saves and protects people. You could say you can never pay someone enough for that.

Then there are the jobs that aren't worth dying over -- for anyone. Your minimum wage, "not my problem" jobs. Horrible, sometimes hard, sometimes mundane jobs that happen to many people at some point in their lives. There are no benefits. The hours can be brutal. But you need the cash for yourself or your families, so you put up with it. And if someone ever put a gun in your face for the register you give them the cash because -- seriously -- you're not dying for $7 an hour.

But the reality is many people working low paying service jobs do find themselves, unwillingly, in the line of fire and some do wind up dying for simply showing up at work that day. And it is in these tales of ordinary people who get killed working mundane jobs where you learn why and how corporations, and people serviced by them, get their reputations as being cold, soulless entities.

Take the case of Taneka Talley.

In March of 2006 she was stocking shelves at a Dollar Tree in Fairfield, Calif. when a man came into the store and shot and killed her. According to California law, businesses have to pay death benefits to the families of people who lose their lives while on the job, with an exception for employees killed by individuals they have a "personal" relationship with, i.e. spouses who kill their husbands or wives at work. But Dollar Tree contested paying Talley's 11-year-old son death benefits because Talley is black and was killed by a white man who said he was looking to kill a black person that day.

He just happened to choose Talley.

In the eyes of the lawyers for Dollar Tree and their insurance company, that counted as a "personal relationship." That act of extreme racism that lead to murder was tantamount to an abusive spouse executing their not-so-loved one. Now facing a boycott, a court case that they stand a good chance at losing and some extremely ugly press, Dollar Tree is offering to pay the full benefits.

Of course they are. It only took them two years.

In a statement Monday, Dollar Tree said it was acting voluntarily because "we feel this is the right thing to do." But a lawyer for Talley's mother and guardian of her 11-year-old son said the company was clearly responding to the public anger that followed news coverage of the case.

"I think they would like this to be done with," attorney Moira Stagliano said. "The media helped settle this claim."

Stagliano said she's optimistic about resolving the case but isn't there yet. "What they have offered is not quite the full value," and negotiations are continuing, she said. (San Franscico Chronicle)

Then we have the more recent tragedy of Jdimytai Damour, the temporary worker trampled to death on "Black Friday" at a Long Island Wal-Mart.

The store was set to open early at 5 a.m. but not early enough for the shoppers who smashed the glass doors and ran right over Damour to get their discounted Nintendo Wiis and digital cameras.

His death was so profound for Wal-Mart that they had to close for a few hours, but somehow were able to put the grief aside and ... those brave little soldiers ... reopen the store when Damour's body wasn't even cold earlier that same afternoon. Who knows if the other employees working that day even got to grieve in those few hours the store was closed. Never mind the fact that some shoppers refused to stop shopping as Damour's body remained on the floor. Even when the cops asked them to leave they were indignant. They'd been waiting outside all night, after all, and needed to buy their cheap crap. Who cares if someone died in their pursuit of manufactured bliss? He was just a temporary worker with family and friends who loved him and affectionately called him "Jimbo" for short.

Obviously not human.

Or at least not deserving of any dignity and humanity in death. Not when the game of death for dollars is being played in America. Four other shoppers, including a pregnant woman, were also injured in the melee.

Damour's family is now suing Wal-Mart because ... well, who can blame them? They obviously weren't prepared to handle the 2,000 person mob that spelled Damour's demise. Many believe he was placed at the door because he was so big and tall (Damour was 6-foot-5 and weighed 270 pounds), and that his death was a combination of "mob mentality," poor crowd control and Wal-Mart's low, low prices.

(Terry) Hemeyer, who also teaches marketing, public relations and advertising at the University of Texas at Austin, places the onus on retailers to prevent such accidents. He said that throughout history, consumers have been attacking each other to get sale items that are in short supply, even when people are lined up waiting for the doors to open.

Hemeyer, who made a point not to attack Wal-Mart, said if store managers don't understand the "herd mentality," then they are not doing their jobs.

"In other words," he said, "if you do something that the doors open at 8 and that's when the sales start and it's a limited supply, I think that's a formula for a problem because everybody has to be there at the same time." (Houston Chronicle)

Pictures of Damour, a 34-year-old Jamaican, were rarely seen as this story was reported on in the press. Even online it's hard to find an article about him. Most stories focus on Wal-Mart or whether our society is decaying because people are dying for cheap Chinese-made goods at big box retailers. But people have always died working retail. It doesn't happen often, but ask anyone who works at a gas station, liquor store, late night diner or fast food restaurant or 7-11 how they feel about their safety and you'll know that you don't have to be a police officer to face death at work.

I just hope Wal-Mart, which doesn't have the best record on this, does the right thing in Damour's case. If not out of the goodness of the heart I know Wal-Mart doesn't have, out of the the good PR they would get in a time where Wal-Mart is blamed for pretty much ever evil in our society. It's true he was a temporary worker, but he died for their dollars.

Let them know why they should care.

To contact Dollar Tree, click here.
To contact Wal-Mart, click here.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Fat Like Me: Oprah Is Big Again (And Not In the Manner She Prefers)

I wonder why she had to announce it? She's on TV everyday. You can see that she's gained the weight back. Wait. She has a magazine to sell. Never mind. (Read her story here.)

That said, as a person who also struggles with weight and diet, I feel for Oprah. (All that rich just won't buy her thin!) This also reminded me of one of my internal conflicts in regards to weight and the black woman. Obesity is a huge problem in the black community. One of the most common stereotypes of black women are that we are loud, unladylike, rude and horribly fat. Even though most people judge me by my intellect and charm, with me not being a size zero there is always a voice in the back of my head telling me not to lose weight because of my health or because I'll feel better, but because I don't want to be the stereotype.

Once again, everything about blackness is woefully political. Even my fat cells. Very, very annoying. I try to remind myself that I'm already refuting a stereotype by existing. I don't need to be a size two to drive the point home. But the psychology of being black in America and dealing with negative images often means you spend a lot of time fighting the ignorance clogging up your own head.

That, and the public has issues with fat people to begin with, so it's pretty easy to develop a complex and about ten or twelve eating disorders.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Blog Asks "If Michelle Was White." More Like Could Harold Ford Jr. Get Elected Dogcatcher In Blackland?

The Chicago Tribune's Exploring Race blog has posed the question "What if Michelle Obama was white?" This "well, duh" question has already been explored by most black blogs and the universal answer is that he wouldn't have even been a senator, let alone president.

But they asked anyway, you know, for poops and giggles I suppose and they will likely get some passionate responses (and passionate responses to those responses), but the reality is despite all of our progress in the better acceptance of interracial couples, it's hard to get elected to office when you are a black person married a white person.

Case in point: Former Tennessee Rep. Harold Ford, Jr. who I wrote about earlier this year. A member of our quasi "black aristocracy" (as in he comes from a political family of influence and means), Ford reached prominence on his family name and good looks, then ran a campaign for the senate where he lost by a narrow margin. Some say he was hurt by his religious pandering. Others say he was hurt by a Republican backed commercial that portrayed Ford as a white woman chasing, playboy bunny hound.

Which was kind of, sort of true, but mean/racist because what did that have to do with being a senator? Then Ford married Emily Threlkeld and ALL. KINDS. OF. HELL. broke loose in "Blackland."

Comments from Big Head DC's blog:

"I think he has not given his political career any thought. If he runs for any office again, surely he won’t win. You don’t carry the black vote and marry white. I will never vote for him again."-- Pat, Memphis

"The reason so many blacks are upset is because Harold Ford Jr. has always courted the black vote and black people except when it comes to his marriage. I am sure when he is running for office and goes into the black neighborhoods he will not take his white wife along. This also gives black women the assumption that as black men progress their appreciation of black women decreases. It also gives the impression that they are saying “I have made it and here is my trophy”!!!!!" -- Connie, Memphis

"The only use Harold had for blacks period in the 9th Congressional Dist was votes. After 10 years of his representation we ALL need Anus Reconstruction Surgery. He did a number on us. This young man took Self Serving Politician to a new level." -- Anonymous

And there is this long, over-the-top, angry note which pretty much sums up how well this all went over with some blacks. It essentially accuses Ford of treason, then slaps him around for a perceived slight against Martin Luther King, Jr.:

This couple had the nerve to have their engagement party on MLK’s 40th anniversary marking his assassination in Memphis. This was very disrespectful to the dead leader and to the community. It was insensitive and disrespectful to have an engagement party on this day at all. However adding injury to insult, MLK and his black wife did not make the sacrifices that they did so that well off black men can marry white women as trophies. (Seventy) of black families are being raised by single mothers, which is leading to the deterioration of the country as a whole. Children who are abandoned by their fathers are becoming negative statistics and impacting the entire society. Many black men do not value black women enough to marry them and raise their families, partially due to the after effects of slavery and the medias propaganda that white women are more desirable and should be valued. As a politician this man is supposed to be a role model, by this action he is setting the example that well off black men should abandon their responsibilities to their communities and marry trophy white women who should be valued more than black women. His fiancée is an unattractive woman, with a seemingly mediocre background and would probably never have married an attractive well off man of her own race. So one would get the impression that this is not love, but that he is showcasing a white “trophy” on MLK’s anniversary, which is the height of disrespect and in my opinion shows that he is brainwashed, confused and needs deprogramming. Many people view this marriage as political suicide.

You don't have to be an sociologist or a psychologist to figure out that despite our progress there are a still a lot insecurities in the black community and nothing brings them out more passionately than that shunted feeling black people (especially black women) get when black men who "make it" marry outside their race.

When you're used to getting kicked around it's hard not to take it personal. Even I get that feeling from time-to-time and I like to considering myself pretty egalitarian about the issue. I'm almost two people about it with the logical side of my brain saying people should be judged by their character and can marry whomever they want because their marriage is about them, not me and I wouldn't want someone nosing in my personal business, casting judgment on my intentions.

But my gut wants to strangle Elin Woods.

It's insane because Tiger Woods is not my personal property, so what do I care? Yet I do. This is because I grew up watching black women get unceremoniously dumped all the time. Or seeing them not in the running at all as viable mates. I can't help it. I take it personal, but I temper my response, my logic reminding me that this is NOT about me.

Plus, being a trophy wife isn't exactly an ideal thing, considering a lot of it is hedged on your appearance, but it's the wanting to be desired that gets us. Everyone wants to be desired. Everyone. Especially black women. Hence why being married to a white person, particularly a black man married to a white woman, is a death knell to getting the black vote.

Black women and older black voters make up the bulk of the black vote and they are the ones most likely to not approve due to that giant "I've been personally affronted!" feeling they would have every time they'd see someone like Emily Threlkeld's smiling face. And any smart person running against someone like Ford would use this rift against him, never quite saying he was a sell-out, but would repeatedly question his loyalty to his constituents, arguing that Ford would only serve his own interests, not that of the community.

It just wouldn't work. All things aren't that equal in Blackland yet.

Not that white people are 100 percent comfortable with this notion either. There's a reason why a lot of politicians are as personally boring as possible (straight, married to someone who is not "exotic" in any kind of way, Christian, usually with some kids), because that's what voters what. There are exceptions to the rule (Jeb Bush is married to a Latina -- but then he was governor of Florida, so that probably helped him), but for most politicians the rule of the day is to be married, preferrably within their own ethnicity and religious sect, be Christian, be heterosexual and not to have any kink in the closest that could come out to haunt them.

(Like paid hookers or interns or Euro sex clubs or nasty text messages or cocaine or secret half-black, out-of-wedlock children or male pages or hook-up trolling in airport men's restrooms.)

None of that stuff. Can't have it. Americans are both notorious freaks and prudes all at the same time, hence all the politicians have to at least be able to appear as close to June and Ward Cleaver as possible. People want the fantasy. They will vote for the fantasy.

For many in Blackland, a white woman is simply not part of that fantasy.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Barack Obama, Bad Economy Inspire New Era of the Hustle Man/Woman

I'm still waiting on my Michelle Obama Barbie. Seriously. Where is she? I'll buy 20. But do you want to know what I won't buy? All this crap created in the time honored tradition of the enterprising North American "Hustle Man/Woman."

From tacky President-Elect plates to tacky President-Elect gold plated coins, if you can slap Obama's smiling, inspirational mug on it, you can profit from the latest piece of swag to move aspiring hustlers from rags to Obama riches.

There's gold in them there Obamas! Whether it's book sales (Both pro and anti-Obama books are selling like crack rock on the block!), TV ratings (Barack and Michelle gave 60 Minutes its highest ratings in nearly a decade) or magazines covers (I don't think they've been on Soldier of Fortune yet, but I'm sure they're working on it) -- people are buying visages of the Obamas. Even the fashion industry is hoping Michelle Obama will become their prêt-à-porter deity and keep sales going while the nation goes to the poorhouse.

From ABC News:

"We're all obviously trying to look at the silver lining," designer Norma Kamali told ABCNews.com. "Where do we look for hope, an opportunity to create good feelings for the customer? There is real hope with Michelle Obama. I think she can keep women interested in purchasing."

Obama's name surfaced at a recent meeting of The Fashion Group International, a professional organization for members of the fashion industry. The topic of discussion was the economy, and one member wondered aloud whether Obama could bolster the industry during the current economic downturn.

Networks are cobbling together half-assed documentaries. Books are being rushed to presses. Even the tabloids have put down running pictures of Brangelina (or Jennifer Aniston still upset over Brangelina) to boost their sales with Michelle and Barack. Where will the girls go to school? What is Michelle wearing? Why is Barack the "bee's knees?" What is this "hope and change" thing he keeps talking about? People want to know and the media is willing to provide knowing it all leads to the dollars.

From The Washington Post:

Perhaps it was the announcement that NBC News is coming out with a DVD titled "Yes We Can: The Barack Obama Story." Or that ABC and USA Today are rushing out a book on the election. Or that HBO has snapped up a documentary on Obama's campaign.

Perhaps it was the Newsweek commemorative issue -- "Obama's American Dream" -- filled with so many iconic images and such stirring prose that it could have been campaign literature. Or the Time cover depicting Obama as FDR, complete with jaunty cigarette holder.

Each writer, each publication, seems to reach for more eye-popping superlatives. "OBAMAISM -- It's a Kind of Religion," says New York magazine. "Those of us too young to have known JFK's Camelot are going to have our own giddy Camelot II to enrapture and entertain us," Kurt Andersen writes. The New York Post has already christened it "BAM-A-LOT."

But the real stars of this effort to capitalize and monetize history are not the media or the book publishers, but the hustlers, the peddlers, the eBay specialists who are the true heroes of crass capitalism.

America is a country founded on the ability to hustle. It was the founding fathers who hustled themselves out of being a colony, hustled the Native Americans out of their land and hustled slavery until that little Civil War happened. But this has always been a place where many business people who saw opportunity where other people only saw crap.

Take the inventor of Barbie.

Former Mattel, Inc. president Ruth Handler modeled the doll off of a German doll marketed to adults as a sexually fused gag gift, explaining Barbie's impossible waist- and bustline.

Or, Madam CJ Walker who became the first black and female millionaire through the invention of the pressing comb and creating the black hair care industry.

When others say why, the hustle man/woman says "Why not?"

From poorly bootlegged DVDs of new films the same day they come out to Steve Jobs pushing iPhones you can't afford, America is built on the backs of folks who can put up a mean hustle. It's only natural that the hustler would celebrate our fair Hopey McChangey by pimping his message in the most garrish, ridiculous, tackilicious "hang your portrait of Barack and Michelle between the MLK/JFK/RFK memorial plates/paintings and the giant, wooden "Tiki" (or African) fork and spoon in your dining room" fashion.

Before he won, Obama had already created a hustler's economy of buttons, jewelry, T-shirts, hats and all kinds of weirdness that I have chronicled on this blog over and over and over again. From his likeness in chocolate to indie designer label trousers, these were Obama items that sometimes came in "extremes," but the money was always right.

Aw shizz! A shirt of Barack dunking on McCain? Order me fifty, son!

"Folks want to buy it," recognizes the hustler, "No matter how cheesy." From lame Obama action figures (this doll is no where as talking Ken doll-riffic as the talking George W. Bush doll I have in the basement somewhere. Lame! Give me a Barack doll worthy of making out with my old school Barbies!) to Obama themed skins for your iPhone, who knows which tchotchkes will be those Eddie Money-esque two tickets to (financial) paradise.

As a child I sat in the homes of many relatives staring at framed photos of John F. Kennedy next to Martin Luther King Jr., typically mounted near the wooden Tiki fork and spoon wondering "why?" How did these particular items become the tributes of choice for black people? I've moved past that wondering to now expecting gigantic, gawdy-to-gorgeous portraits of the Obamas smiling at me, symbols of both pride and the North American hustle man/woman's entrepreneurial spirit.

In crap we trust. Some gaze at the Grand Canyon or Sierra Nevadas to understand America's beauty. Save the money, turn on QVC and do nothing but slow claps. Bravo, hustlers. Bravo. You truly are recession proof.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Barack, Michelle and Barbara!

Barack and Michelle being adorable and inspiring with Barbara Walters. Check out the rest of the interview on Faith's blog -- Acts of Faith In Love and Life.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Details Magazine Takes a Left, Gives Obama's Secret Service Agent Top Spot on "Power 40" Ranking

What is it with folks and their fascination with Obama's high target status?

From Esquire's press release:

DETAILS is releasing our DETAILS Power List- the 40 Most Influential Men in the World. Who’s #1? Obama’s Secret Service Agent claims the #1 spot on the DETAILS Power List, who, according to DETAILS, is the only thing standing between the free world and a catastrophe. Yes, it’s amazing to witness the historic, anything-can-happen triumph of Barack Obama, but “anything can happen” is precisely what we need to be worried about. As America’s first black president-elect, explains DETAILS, Obama is a walking provocation to racists everywhere.

I know Details just wants to be "different" from the other magazines, like Esquire and GQ who have been French kissing hope to sling copies ever since he announced his candidacy, but giving the Secret Service props because Barack Obama is such a huge target both politically and symbolically is kind of lame.

It's also a wee morose while at the same time saying that all American presidents relatively meaningless assassination-wise until Obama. One could argue that being the leader of the wealthiest nation with the most expensive and technologically advanced military AND having oodles of influence at home and abroad already makes you a walking target for fear and loathing. Blackness is merely an added "wow" factor.

While Obama freaks out the racists something plentiful, of the presidents who have either been assassinated or survived the attempts there was an extremely high number of rogue nutjobs. President McKinley was shot by an anarchist. President Ronald Reagan was shot by a deranged Jodie Foster/Taxi Driver stalker/fan. While, the wackadoodle number is up with Obama, every president has to deal with it. I don't think the Secret Service deserves any extra points for getting a black guy this time.

Here's some from the actual article:

Let's face it: The audacity of hope is about to be tested by the tenacity of fear. Yes, it's amazing to witness the historic, anything-can-happen triumph of Barack Obama's 21st-century march on Washington, but if you're old enough to remember the black-and-white flicker of mid-20th-century TV footage you know that the concept "anything can happen" is precisely what we need to be worried about. As America's first black president-elect, Obama is a walking provocation to racists everywhere. Maybe for a while you had faith that the country was past all that—but then you heard those voices from the rabid mob barking "Kill him!" at Sarah Palin's and John McCain's rallies, and instantly the ghosts of JFK and RFK and MLK and Malcolm X began to float on the horizon. "Some idiot out there's going to put a bullet in that silver-tongued devil and then there'll be a race war," Thomas Stevenson, an Atlanta carpenter, told the Roswell Beacon in late May—which inspired an illustration featuring Obama in the crosshairs of a rifle. And it wasn't just "real Americans" like Tom the Carpenter who provided revealing blurts from the collective subconscious. Doris Lessing, the Nobel laureate, mused to a Swedish newspaper, "Obama would certainly not last long, a black man in the position of president. They would murder him." All of which means that a tremendous burden rests on the blue line of Barack Obama's security detail.

FYI: Don't take this list super seriously. It's the end of the year and every magazine will be slapping together these sorts of rankings and Details, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, et al, have to do their darnedest to write something that will get some buzz. Along with anonymous secret service guy, Details adds the following to their purposely unconventional list: "The National Enquirer Reporter," all Palin's men (husband, sons and the guy who knocked her daughter up), singer John Mayer (for being a "press whore." Their words. Not mine), Lil Wayne, Guns N' Roses long-delayed released "Chinese Democracy," Thomas Beatie, the "Pregnant Man" who isn't a man, and a bunch of other folks who make no sense.

Monday, November 3, 2008

David Alan Grier and DL Hughley Have New Comedy/News Shows, Should We Be Frightened?

I guess it would be too much to ask Dave Chappelle to come back.

This doesn't mean that I don't think comedians David Alan Grier and DL Hughley deserve their own shows ...

What am I saying? They're the last two black comics who should have their own shows. Katt Williams should have his own show before these two and I'm not even a fan, so ... seriously cable networks -- Grier and Hughley?

It's not that I didn't think they could pull off a good show. I know they can't pull off a good show. I watched most of Grier's Chocolate News and Hughley's DL Hughley Breaks the News through my fingers.

Both have the ability to be funny in their moments, but I don't think Grier's been funny since he stop directly working with someone for "Wayans" as a last name. And Hughley, to me, has never been funny. I've always found his comedy mean spirited, petty and unimaginative. (But he was really nice that one time I interviewed him for work!) But Comedy Central and CNN did not ask me which black comics would be good at a politically-based comedy show.

(Aisha Tyler, anyone? She's smart and funny. Anyone! Did they even bother calling her? Chris Rock? Steve Harvey? Wanda Sykes? -- Non sequitor: God, I'd LOVE to watch Wanda Sykes do a political comedy show with Aisha Tyler. They could invite Monique and do an all black girl parody of The View. Jasmine Guy could play the Barbara Walters character! Wait ... no one steal my show idea! I have to make some phone calls! -- Marlon Wayans could do a show. Hell, even Sinbad or Arsenio Hall would have been good and both those guys need a second bite at the apple.)

But nope, no one asked me. So this is what we have:

A recent skit from Grier's "Chocolate News" on "Thugs Against High Gas Prices."

A clip of DL Hughley talking to Freddie Mac, not the mortgage giant, but "Ashy Larry" as Freddie the Mac Daddy of Federal Loan Financing.

Both shows are "edgy," and by edgy I mean profane because, really, that's appears to be the only kind of edgy that matters. Grier, while not exactly Eddie Murphy, manages to pull off playing a multitude of characters, but seeing him still makes me think of In Living Color and thinking of In Living Color only makes me wonder if Chocolate News would be more palatable to me if it was Damon and Keenan running the show again? Wouldn't it be better to see seven black performers with a job rather than two? Or to just see all those Wayanses hire themselves to put on a show again? Yeah, "Little Man" was an embarrassment, but I say, c'mon, TV, give them another chance! They can be good again!

As for Hughley's show I was amazed by the "shut your mouth bitches" line from Ashy Larry, if only because I'm watching CNN. It's one thing to be wild and raunchy on Comedy Central, home of everything raunchy in comedy, they have no morals. They show Sarah Silverman with a potty mouth and a bed-wetting problem, South Park and that gross Kenny Versus Spenny thing that I hope to dear God was canceled.

Seeing Grier play a transsexual whose boob keeps popping out is actually at home in that environment. But Hughley is his own island on a network that is primarily about straight news. And it is surreal and painful to watch actual reporters interact with Hughley as opposed to joke reporters like the ones on Chocolate News and The Daily Show. Real reporters are not funny and I image the ones who showed up for Hughley's premiere episode were wondering why CNN was wasting their news gathering time? You work hard, you pound the pavement, you pester sources and you beg your producer for camera time and this is what they give you?

Hughley seems out of place on the network, even if he did get a newsworthy nugget out of yet another defecting Republican, this time former Bush press secretary Scott McClellan who said last week that he is voting for Barack Obama on Hughley's show. I hate to say this, but ... Glen Beck's show made more sense. Now, I don't like Glen Beck and Beck has run off to FOX News, leaving his old gig at CNN Headline News, but Beck was/is supposed to be funny and did a political/news-of-the-day interview show that didn't make me want to drink Drano. It would have made more sense for CNN to find someone not necessarily like Beck, but someone with his basic skills set, like Whoopi Goldberg, Dennis Miller or Lewis Black, heck, Eddie Murphy might do it if you ask nice enough, but someone who has the ability to be funny and can also pull off a decent interview.

Naturally, I wasn't the only person "amazed" by Hughley's show. Dr. Boyce Watkins (and many other critics, primarily black) are pretty much ready to grab the pitchforks and torches and send DL back to the comedy plantation from wince he came.

In the following clip, Watkins shouts out every black comedian as being cool-to-great with the exception of Hughley who he says he's never been impressed by.

"You don't bring a gun to a baby shower. You don't put a liquor sign in a church," Watkins gripes, before getting into the flip side of it, that CNN has had many black commentators and journalists, yet the first African American to get their own show on CNN is DL, a comedian. Watkins name drops Roland Martin, mentioning that he's been on a regular on CNN for a while yet has no show.

Um ... yeah. I noticed that too.

Here's Watkins' rant in full where he declares DL America's latest "nappy headed ho" in reference to statements DL made during the infamous Don Imus/Rutgers Women's Basketball team scandal. (Fast-forward to 1:52 minutes in to skip Watkins rambling about his recent trips around the country.)

Officially, as a lover of the First Amendment and a believer in our often messed up free market economy, I am all for Grier and Hughley getting the same opportunities to humiliate themselves and other black people on television just as countless individuals have done before. Their shows might get better. It might pave the way to Aisha Tyler eventually having her own show, but I'm probably not going to make the point to pencil in Hughley and Chocolate News as must-see-TV unless something revolutionary happens in the writing of the shows. These shows were not made for me.

Which takes me to Watkins' other concern about DL -- that this show, much like CNN's "Black In America" and DL's statements about Don Imus, aren't for or about black people -- that this is humor insulting black Americans to delight a non-black audience. Is Watkins right? Whereas I, the women at What About Our Daughters and Watkins saw something of concern, David Zurawik, a critic with The Baltimore Sun, thought the premiere showed promise.

(I)t looks like CNN could have a winner in its new comedy show, D.L. Hughley Breaks the News. And more important, Saturday night television and its audience could be enriched by Hughley's engaging and non-conventional take on American life -- if the cable channel gives the production time to mature and find its voice.

Is this a case of black Snobs like myself and Watkins being too hard on a pair of successful black comedians or is this yet another case of great for the performer, bad for all of blackness played out in front of a live studio audience yet again?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

What's a little Democratic Primary between friends?

William Jefferson Clinton jumped on the stage and threw down a zinger-filled gauntlet for Barack Obama in Florida late Wednesday night. Clinton crisscrossed all over Florida that day, taking to the stump his case for why Obama is a tall glass of awesome.

I want to tell you is he's got the right policies. And I've read them all. And I've read his opponent's. People used to make fun of me for being a policy wonk but I take it after the last eight years, we all know it really matters what people advocate.

And let me tell you folks, is again something I can say because I'm not running for anything, the historical record shows that virtually every person ever elected president does his best to actually do what they say they're going to do in the campaign and Barack Obama's do-list is the better do-list.

The economic plan is better. The education plan is better. Young people, you read his plan. If you are willing to do community service it doesn't matter how rich or poor you are, you're going to be able to go to college, universal, everybody is included, no ifs, ands or buts.

And his health care plan is light-years better. And I can tell you there are people in this crowd, I know there, are who have lost their health insurance. There are people in this crowd who have children with autistic conditions or other disabilities that need help and nobody is helping them. And we're living in the government, last week one in eight Americans are not going to be able to afford their cancer drugs this year. America drops to 29th in infant mortality and we're spending more than anybody else in the world? They want to defend that.

Barack Obama wants to change that and he has a good plan to do it and we should vote for on Election Day.

And it just went on and on and on.

Then Obama returned that love, ten-fold, complimenting the chummy ex-president as he gave a rousing speech on how power does not concede authority so you better get your ass out there and vote!

Meanwhile, Republican opponent John McCain got himself some free airtime on CNN with fellow septuagenarian Larry King. McCain did the usual uncomfortable chuckle, freaky smile thing the whole time and, once again, used that line that the campaign wouldn't have gotten so vicious if Obama had just agreed to those townhall debates! Still trying to figure out how "I'm not participating in your townhalls" equals "So now I must slander your character and label you as a traitor," but ... you know, maybe Johnny Mac is that sensitive, petty and vindictive. And if he is, dear Lord, please don't let him be president. I don't want us to go to war with Russia because Putin didn't call and wish him a happy birthday.

A few folks watching Larry King Live (namely viewers on Twitter) were calling King and CNN out, claiming they passed on showing the Obama infomercial for cash to give McCain some much needed free airtime.

This is one of those times where I'm going to have to put my reporter hat on and defend CNN's decision. The O-mercial (as reviewed by Time Magazine) was 30 minutes of unadulterated, uplifting pro-Obama love for the middle class and his efforts to reveal his awesomeness to the public. CNN is a news organization and the infomercial was a "news" event. They wanted to cover it. I take them at their word on that one based on Journalism 101 rules.

Plus while McMaverick did get free air time he still had to answer questions not written by his campaign staff. While Larry King is not known to deliver beat downs, he did ask real questions that McCain had to smirk uncomfortably through and sometimes look like an ass while doing it and one smirky interview does not equal one awesome, slick 30 minute spot of "this isn't a presidential race, this is a movement" style film making.

Obama on The Daily Show

In case you missed it ... more Obama from the All Obama, All Day Show yesterday where Barack managed to be everywhere in Florida at once, got all "we are soooo awesome together" with former President Bill Clinton at a midnight rally, got his infomercial on seven networks, then went live from the infomercial seamlessly, THEN went on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to crack a little wise and Friday he'll be on The Situation Room with the Wolfman?

Breathtaking.

Oh, and in case they revised it some, this was the official statement from the McCain Campaign via Tucker Bounds on Obama's commercial immediately after it aired Wednesday night:

As anyone who has bought anything from an infomercial knows, the sales-job is always better than the product. Buyer beware.

Awesome. Does this mean all McCain's ads are lies too? Awesome. Thanks, Tucker. Glad to know you couldn't find anything wrong with the commercial either.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Obama's "Variety Half-Hour" Is Tonight

Plus alternative viewing suggestions for the Obama adverse

Once again Barack Obama is raising the chorus of "just who does he think he is" with his latest bit of political gamesmanship.

"No one will delay a World Series game with an infomercial when I'm president," McCain told voters in Pennsylvania, appealing to Phillies fans backing their team in the championship. Fox, scheduled to air the World Series tonight, agreed to delay the game by 15 minutes for Obama's program.

He'll be on a television network near you telling you why he's gonna be your man. Will it be flashy? Will it be moving? Will it be just him talking? Will there be special effects? What's the point in being Tinsletown's candidate of choice if you can't whip out the big cinematic guns? He's already blowing millions on air time. No point in going cheap.

John McCain is doing his McGrumpypants grumbling about how he'd never and this is so presumptuous and blah, blah, blah ... who cares? Everyone knows this is about who has money and who doesn't. Who's on top and who isn't. Just because your opponent won't politely lie down and choke to make up for your shortcomings is no excuse to walk around looking like Mr. Yukmouth. I mean, bringing up some Palestinian American college professor at the 11th hour? One who A) isn't a terrorist, B) hasn't done anything and C) may have been critical of the government of Israel? I have a newsflash: People in ISRAEL are critical of Israel. Are we going to bomb Israel now for not being pro-Israel enough?

That said, I'll be watching Barack tell me what I like to hear, but what if you're not interested in reruns? After all, I'm going to guess that more than 99.9 percent of Snob readers already know who they're voting for and Barack could come on TV with dancing girls riding a unicycle, healing the blind, spitting out $100 bills like an ATM while Bill Clinton dances the ol' soft shoe and you'd still yawn and go "AGAIN? Sigh. I already saw Barack raise the dead and cure lepers in Denver last week!"

So here are some 30 minute programming alternatives for people who DON'T plan on watching The Barack Obama: Hope for A Change Variety Half-Hour at 7 p.m. CST (8 p.m. EST) tonight.

  • "Tyler Perry's House of Payne (TBS)" -- I wouldn't watch it. But it will kill 30 minutes!
  • "Pushing Daisies (ABC)" -- ABC passed on showing Obama's commercial and instead want you to watch "Pushing Daisies," yet another victim of the writer's strike. It had good ratings ... once. Don't you want to watch a show about a pie baker who can bring dead things to life and re-kill them by touching them? It's supposed to be a whimsical and stuff? I wouldn't watch it. It doesn't involve hot doctors who can't keep their pants on or Vanessa Williams being a vamp or hot people trapped in a mindfuck TV show about a sci-fi island. Sorry ABC.
  • "House Rerun (USA)" -- You could watch Hugh Laurie abuse people! That's always fun! It's the "Daddy's Boy" episode where he tries to avoid having dinner with his parents. There's also some annoying sick person who needs saving. The usual.
  • "Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (AMC)" -- Can't further from politics than one of the worst horror films ever made.
  • "NBA: Suns versus Spurs (ESPN)" -- I don't like either of those teams. I'm a Golden State, Lakers girl.
  • Cable News -- Regular CNN will give you Campbell Brown talking about Obama's show. CNN Headline News will give you Nancy Grace talking about dead and/or missing white woman and/or child of the week! Keith Olbermann will be on "Countdown" (talking about Obama effusively and with no shame to his pleasure.) and Bill O'Reilly will be in his "no spin zone" giving his spin on Obama on "The O'Reilly Factor" on FOX News.
  • "VH1's 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs (VH1)" -- How long has VH1 been nothing but reality shows and lists?
  • "Paris Hilton's My New BFF" (MTV) -- Paris Hilton still needs friends apparently.
  • "Law & Order Rerun (TNT)" -- They're showing a 2006 episode involving a dead mafia accountant. I think I've seen that one ten or 12 times, so I'm passing.
  • "Clean House (Style)" -- Support Nicey Nash and the flower in her hair!
  • "Dr. 90210 (E!)" -- Plastic surgery on egomaniacs!
  • "Miami Drug Cartel (NGC)" -- Ooo ... say hello to my real life little friend in this tale of cocaine and violence.
  • "Honey (Oh!)" -- Jessica Alba. Watch her with the sound turned down. The acting? Not good.
  • "Aliens (FMC)" -- Fox Movie Channel is showing the only good movie I've seen coming on at the same time when Barack opens his mouth, the original "Aliens" and it's still as creepy as it was when it first came out in the late 1970s.

Check your listings!

Obama Returns to The Daily Show

He'll be coming on via satellite with Jon Stewart after his 30 minute "closing statement" airs on all three networks Wednesday in Obama's continuing full-frontal, I have more campaign dollars than God McCain slapdown.

As usual, the opposition is murmuring nothing but sour grapes and lime flavored haterade and Obama's all, "What? Say what? Huh? I ... I ... I can't hear you from on top of all this money! I'm sorry! Can you send it in an email? Wait! You don't know how to email, do you, John? Can you text me? No? Can you Twitter? Do you Plurk? A little Facebook? Nothing? What's that? I'm sorry, man. We don't do Morse Code anymore, although my youth campaign advisor did develop a tight pop-n-lock routine called the Morse Code once. Everybody's doing it! Just like ... everyone's voting for me! What a coincidence? OBAMA-BIDEN '08!"

This will be Obama's fourth appearance on The Daily Show.

Old News: Halle Berry Gets Hot & Political and Somewhere Slick Willy Smiles

Somehow I don't think our 42nd president of the United States minds this homage AT ALL.

I imagine former President Bill Clinton is hiding an entire stash of these Esquires featuring Halle Berry as him on his Esquire cover at his New York estate or in his Harlem office -- possibly next to that inaugural copy of George Magazine with Cindy Crawford as George Washington on the cover. (Man, I miss George ... and its founder.)

Bill will tell you, sexy ladies dressed as ex-presidents are hot and no one would appreciate this more than him, our former fornicator-in-chief. I imagine he's still smarting a bit over the whole Hillary v. Obama, Jesse Jackson, all-the-Negroes-hate-me-now-and-my-life-sucks thing he's been going through since February, but seeing Halle in no pants dressed like him ... yeah ...

Bill's good now. All good.

By-the-way, for those who don't know, Esquire named Halle sexiest woman in the history of the world or something earlier this month for their November issue. I knew she'd won the accolade, but didn't realize they'd chosen to have her pose as the Comeback Kid. (Hence my "old news." I totally would have reported this had I'd known about the political slant.) I say, bully for her. She deserves it. To me, her acting is questionable, but if there was a contest in Hollywood purely based on who could look the most hot, sans pants, dressed like Bill Clinton on a magazine cover -- no contest.

Represent!

In other news: People Magazine posted this papparazzi picture of Berry with a curly 'fro and over sized aviator shades. Again, (for the curly 'fro snob girls), represent!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Michelle and Jon: Together At Last

After doing The Colbert Report earlier this summer (and looking resplendent in a aquamarine dress ... and so resplendent, Colbert sang to her), Michelle Obama is strolling over to the set of The Daily Show Wednesday for a sit-down chit-chat with Jon Stewart. Yippie! I have a feeling Stewart won't push up on Barack's woman like that wily Colbert did, but I'm ready to squirm through another one of Stewart's funny, but sometimes painful interviews. Remember, Michelle! Don't try to be funny! That's his job. He'll only make you pay for it. Just "do you" and all will go magically.

From The New York Times:

Michelle Obama, the wife of Senator Barack Obama, the Democratic presidential nominee, will make her first appearance on Comedy Central’s satirical news program “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” on Wednesday, the cable channel said Monday. Mr. Obama has been a guest of Mr. Stewart on the show three times, most recently in April. Ms. Obama has granted few interviews in recent months, though she did sit down with Jill Biden, the wife of Mr. Obama’s running mate Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., for a joint interview with “Access Hollywood” last month. Cindy McCain, the wife of the Republican nominee, Senator John McCain, has yet to appear on “The Daily Show” or its late-night companion “The Colbert Report,” a Comedy Central spokesman said.

I love me some Jon Stewart. And someday, God willing, it'll be me, him, a book I wrote and a TV audience and it will be awesome. Sigh. A girl can dream.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Mad Dogs and Barracudas

After a night of sleeping on it and some reflection through reading others' responses to the debate I've decided that since this was virtually an error free showdown in the Gateway City (and by "error free" I mean "nightmarish gaffe-free"), neither veep pick did any real damage to their respective campaigns.

Joe Biden was a Mad Dog with manners. Sarah "Barracuda" Palin was biting, but didn't leave many marks because she had to prove to everyone, from her base to the pundits, that she was ready for primetime.

She may have stemmed the tide on The George Will Revolt, even reversed the trend on a few of the weaker ones. Peggy Noonan was didn't bleat "It's over." Kathleen Parker, who called for Palin to bow out has a column running Friday detailing how she's received death threats for her "betrayal" of the Republican Party.

She gave the Dixie Chicks a shout-out for now knowing what it's like to live in Stalin's America. This column was written pre-debate though, so she might be back on the McCain-Palin bus today.

A lot of articles and columns mention Palin's proclivity to bust out the folksy talk and her audacity to even wink at the camera a few times, perhaps unaware that she was turning into Tina Fey's parody of her during those moments. While this probably endeared her to her die hard fans, it seems it grated almost everyone who reads this blog and the uncommitted voters at CNN who's ratings meters took a nose dive at first sound of a "shucky-durn." Perhaps it was because we'd all seen this show before and wanted something different -- something that perhaps included some facts and substance to go with those talking points.

Or maybe it's because the current occupant of the White House is also known for his hucksterisms which were really a ploy to make up for his incuriousness and intellectual shortcomings. Maybe everyone was just coughing loudly into their hands "ahem ... bullshit!" every time she went into her "say it ain't so, Joe" doing her best George W. Bush-Ronald Reagan-Ross Perot mash-up.

Mabye Cowboys owner Jerry Jones should run for president. Or James Carville. Or Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson.

Oh wait. I think that last one did give it the ol' college try. Never mind!

But who cares what I think! (Biden won decisively, if just for answering the damn questions!)

What did all the insta polls, reporters, editors, columnists, pundits and political operatives think?

THE INSTA POLLS ARE IN ... FOR MAD DOG BIDEN

It didn't hurt that he didn't declare that he was just going to answer the questions any ol' kinda way, then proceeded to give no specific in the most important election since never.

Reported The Associated Press: A CBS News/Knowledge Networks Poll of uncommitted voters who watched the debate found 46 percent thinking Biden won, with 21 percent siding with Palin. A CNN poll found respondents judging Biden the winner by a 51 percent to 39 percent margin.

AND HERE COME THE MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACKS!
Consensus: Biden won. She won. McCain lost, to paraphrase Slate's John Dickerson

Tie goes to the hockey mom. Who won last night's vice presidential debate? The answer depends on which ticket you support. If you like Obama-Biden, then Joe Biden won. If you prefer McCain-Palin, Sarah Palin did. That's how you can tell a tie. That's what this was. And since Biden was supposed to destroy Palin, and didn't even come close, this was a good night for the Republican. (Rueben Naverrette Jr., columnist/contributor, CNN)

Palin's answers in this debate vacillated between disappointing and incoherent. On the most pressing issue facing Americans this week -- the economy -- she had surprisingly little to offer. She repeated the McCain tax cut plan and health care plan. (Hillary Rosen, political director The Huffington Post, CNN)

My gut tells me there will be a partisan response to this debate with Democrats arguing Biden won, and Republicans reassured by Palin's performance. However there was nothing to this debate that is likely to change the trajectory of the race. (George Stephanopoulos, ABC News)

The whole debate was about Sarah Palin. She is not a person of thought but of action. Interviews are about thinking, about reflecting, marshaling data and integrating it into an answer. Debates are more active, more propelled—they are thrust and parry. They are for campaigners. She is a campaigner. Her syntax did not hold, but her magnetism did. At one point she literally winked at the nation.

As far as Mrs. Palin was concerned, Gwen Ifill was not there, and Joe Biden was not there. Sarah and the camera were there. This was classic "talk over the heads of the media straight to the people," and it is a long time since I've seen it done so well, though so transparently. There were moments when she seemed to be doing an infomercial pitch for charm in politics. But it was an effective infomercial. (Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal)

Palin did not defend, or even attempt to defend, McCain’s plan to begin taxing health-care benefits--a plan that most experts agree would end up costing families thousands of dollars a year. Nor did she defend in any detail McCain’s proposal to cut $400 billion in corporate taxes over the next decade (a plan that Biden brought up repeatedly) ... As aggressive as her performance was, it is unlikely that it moved the overall horserace numbers. But she did show that she not only knows how to field dress a moose, but to stand toe to toe with a senator. (Howard Fineman, Newsweek)

Was she capable of being vice president? Based on her debate performance, the answer was yes. Not that she came close to matching Biden's experience or extensive knowledge of issues, especially foreign policy issues. But she was conversant with every issue, domestic and foreign, that came up in the 90-minute debate and talked with seeming confidence about them. (Fred Barnes, The Weekly Standard)

Maybe she doesn't want to talk more about global warming, or about what vice presidents do, or about who's commanding US troops in Afghanistan. Perhaps she isn't entirely clear on where her running mate is on everything (it's only been, like, five weeks). Maybe (definitely) she really, really wants us to think she and McCain are "mavericks." But Palin returned to the source of her popularity Thursday night at Washington University in St. Louis -- the folksy, aw-shucks, look-who's-running-for-vice-president appeal that reminds us that shortly before she was a drag on the ticket she was a phenom in her own right. (Rick Klein with Hope Ditto, ABC News)

It was, in the end, what viewers might have expected from the man who is chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee -- much as what they got from Gov. Palin was what they were led to expect from her widely heralded speech to the Republican national convention just a few weeks ago. It was a fascinating byplay -- but not necessarily one that changed many minds. (Gerald F. Seib, Wall Street Journal)

A more conventional vice-presidential candidate could have used the platform of the debate on Thursday to go after Mr. Obama and turn this night into a referendum on Mr. Obama. And Ms. Palin certainly tried, attacking Mr. Obama repeatedly for his views on national security, and taxes, prompting equally passionate rebuttals from Mr. Biden. But she had become such an outsized figure since her explosive introduction to the country by Mr. McCain that the story of this debate was always going to be about Ms. Palin, and not Mr. Obama. It seems fair to say that Americans who tuned in to this debate watched to get their impression of Ms. Palin, and not to hear what she had to say about Mr. Obama. (Adam Nagourney , The New York Times)

At times it was effective (Palin's folksy charm), (b)ut more often, with her facial expressions and aw-shucks asides (she even winked at the camera at least twice), it seemed out of place. But Palin didn’t need to hit this one out of the park, she just needed to be steady and mistake-free, and she largely succeeded. If Palin was steady, Biden was strong. There aren't many who doubt the Delaware senator’s knowledge on most issues but there have been nervous Democrats who worry about his tendency to go on for too long and step into gaffes in the process. He sometimes seemed conscious about those problem areas, mentioning twice that his allotted time was close to expiring, almost as if to remind himself to stop talking. (Vaughn Ververs, CBS News)

Palin and Biden were each appealing in their own way -- and in ways that neither McCain nor Obama were in their first debate last Friday. Palin wore a bright smile throughout the exchange and carried herself with confidence ... Biden was direct, not verbose, and his answers came crisply in contrast to Obama's more studied and sometimes pausing style of speaking ... And he, too, flashed his smile to good effect. (Dan Balz, The Washington Post)

Palin broke no new ground, though she toured the landscape of McCain policy positions with surprising fluency. Like the last debate, this one was surprisingly wonky — a lifetime subscription to Congressional Quarterly. Palin could not match Biden when it came to policy detail, but she never obviously floundered. (David Brooks, The New York Times)

For some viewers, her autopilot replies might be a turnoff. But for conservatives and independents who want to like her, she probably performed well enough--and she probably performed well enough to stop the hemorrhaging she had caused the campaign. Which means that perhaps John McCain will return to center stage, as Palin--and her uninformed responses to Katie Couric's questions--becomes less of an issue. (Kevin Drum, Mother Jones)

Everybody wondered how Palin would do. At least as important, or more, was that Joe Biden did a superb job. He deftly stopped Palin from distorting Obama's views. He won the tax cut argument-- Democrats usually don't. He won the health care argument; Palin just gave up. She wouldn't -- couldn't -- answer the questions; she wanted to talk about energy, which she's supposed to know something about, but she even lost on that . Often she didn't know or couldn't say what McCain's policy is. And on foreign policy, she must have been staring out the window when she sat down with Henry Kissinger. She "loves" Israel but can't discuss mideast realities in one inch depth. She can't even articulate basic conditions for the use of nuclear weapons. (Robert Shrum, Real Clear Politics)

Palin's syntax is odd, and she has noticeable verbal tics, saying "here," "there" and "also" too much. Occasionally, she gets lost in a blizzard of her own words. But the quirkiness makes her more vivid, setting her apart from the rest of the political establishment. By the end, as she got even more comfortable, she seemed to become more winsome by the minute - her smile sparkling as she even threw off the occasional wink. She jabbed Biden with a good-natured, "There you go again, Joe." And Biden himself seemed genuinely charmed. (Rich Lowrey, New York Post)

As the debate wound down, it was clear that neither candidate would land a knockout punch — or coin one of those lines that linger in political memory. Palin had disproved the worst fears about her competence. Biden had revealed himself as a disciplined combatant rather than a loose cannon. But their debate had not changed the dynamic of the campaign. (Editorial, The Rocky Mountain News)

Altogether, they clashed in a spirited debate that was far more illuminating than the conversation between their running mates last week. The public benefited, but perhaps no one benefited more than Palin in showing that she could comfortably hold her own with a six-term senator who chairs the Foreign Relations Committee. The hockey mom played a great game. (Editorial, New York Daily News)

We cannot recall when there were lower expectations for a candidate than the ones that preceded Sarah Palin’s appearance in Thursday night’s vice-presidential debate with Joseph Biden. After a series of stumbling interviews that raised serious doubts even among conservatives about her fitness to serve as vice president, Ms. Palin had to do little more than say one or two sensible things and avoid an election-defining gaffe. By that standard, but only by that standard, the governor of Alaska did well. But Ms. Palin never really got beyond her talking points in 90 minutes, mostly repeating clichés and tired attack lines and energetically refusing to answer far too many questions. (Editorial, The New York Times)

Mrs. Palin couldn't match Mr. Biden's fluency on Bosnia or Darfur last night, but not too long ago neither could Barack Obama. The Republican nominee more than held her own on foreign policy in general, and in our view won on points at least on Iraq and Afghanistan. She didn't let Mr. Biden get away with interpreting the comments of a U.S. general in Afghanistan as a rejection of Mr. McCain's strategy. And on Iraq she exposed both Mr. Biden's change of heart on the war, and his change of heart on Mr. Obama's views on the war. At times Mr. Biden even looked a little frustrated -- as if he couldn't quite believe he had to share the stage with someone who hasn't hung out with Dick Lugar or . . . Mike Mansfield back when the Senate was still a civil place. Or someone who says "doggonit." (Editorial, The Wall Street Journal)

(S)he got out alive, though there were white-knuckle moments along the way: questions that were answered with painfully obvious talking points that betrayed scant knowledge of the issue at hand and sometimes little relevance to the question that had been asked. But recent days have given John McCain’s team little reason to suppose that not-that-bad is good enough. The Republican ticket’s sliding polls and narrowing electoral map gave it a different imperative in Palin's showdown against Joe Biden ... Absent new polling, there is little reason to think she cleared that bar in St. Louis. (John F. Harris and Mike Allen, Politco.com)

But regardless of who won or lost, a vice-presidential debate doesn't matter unless it produces a major gaffe. This one didn't. So, people will vote on the person at the top of the ticket, and by that criterion, even if you think Palin won the debate, it's hard to see how she changed the race much. That's not great news for John McCain. Both national and state polls are going in the wrong direction for him. (John Dickerson, Slate.com)

From the moment Palin walked onstage and asked Biden, "Hey, can I call you Joe?" she projected a folksiness that constantly threatened to tip over from "authentic" to "a little overdone," all delivered in the kind of nasal snow-belt honk that won Frances McDormand an Oscar in "Fargo" ... That tipping point probably came around the time she spouted this line, which sounded like something out of "Leave it to Beaver" meets "Hardball": "Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You [prefaced] your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now, doggone it, let's look ahead." Sometimes her folksy language got a little garbled -- like when she used what is evidently a favorite phrase and said mortgage lenders were "rearing that head of abuse." (Mike Madden, Salon.com)

AND THE POLLS SAY ...

Real Clear Politics has Obama up nationwide by 5.8 percent in their poll averages. But we'll know if the debate moved the goal posts later. By the way, Obama's up by 10 in Michigan and McCain has pulled out his troops.

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