Pepsi Hijacks Some Obama Magic

My friend (and reader) Dorothy snapped these pictures in Washington, D.C. Friday of soft drink maker Pepsi's "president-elect" inspired ad campaign. Using their new, modified red, white and blue circle logo like a half-grin version of the Obama rising sun logo, the Pepsi sphere has replaced the "O" in their one-word adverts, which include "hope" and "together." Some banners even blatantly read "Yes You Can" in case the others were too subtle in their connection to the Big O.

Curiously, some banners read "Oh boy," which depending on how you feel about the word "boy" can be seen as a little clunky or at worst, condescending.

Dot thought it was personally outrageous that anyone would use "boy" in an ad campaign obviously derived from the successful presidential campaign for an adult black man considering the negative history of the term and its use (usually to put black men "in their place"). Once my grandpa, then in his 70s, was called a "boy" by an Arkansas police officer young enough to be his son. We're almost positive that wasn't a term of endearment. But these banners were likely created by some clueless "boy geniuses" on Madison Avenue who know about as much about the history of "boy" and black men as they know what hominy grits are.

But this is just the latest reflection on Obama's dynamic campaign and essence popping up in advertising. This time to peddle corn syrup sweetened, carbonated water. It would be offensive for being opportunistic, but this is America and this is capitalism at work. In light of the recession where people are cutting back on their pointless consumption of useless things, you can't really blame Pepsi for trying to squeeze a good will, Obama dollar out of you by any means necessary. If Rocawear can sell "Roc-Obama" T-shirts at Macy's and Pookie n' em can sell bootleg Obama merch on the streets of D.C. this week, Pepsi is gonna get theirs.

We already know Tropicana may have got themselves an early start. (To see more of Dorothy's photos and art, click here.)

Rants: Local Alabama NAACP Is Anti-Stupid Poofy Dress In Inaugural Parade

I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that we black people ran out of real problems and only had mock outrage to deal out over a bunch of girly-girls in Southern Antebellum Era, fantasy-fetish colored hoop skirts and stupid wide brim, ruffled bonnets.

From Daily Kos:

Montgomery, Ala. (WSFA) -- They're part of a long standing tradition that will soon become a part of Presidential history.

The head of the Alabama NAACP, however, wants Mobile's Azalea Trail Maids to stay home on Inauguration Day, claiming the group reminds him of slavery.

"These are not just regular costumes. These are the costumes that remind someone of the plantation in Gone with the Wind," Edward Vaughn said in a phone interview.

Vaughn went on to say the group would be the laughing stock of the Inauguration. County leaders say nothing could be further from the truth.

"We want everyone to know that these young ladies do not need to be identified with slavery," said Mobile County Commissioner Stephen Nodine.

The Rebel Flag -- the stars and bars of the Confederacy battle flag -- is an offensive symbol a destructive, bloody Civil War waged by selfish, wealthy land owners who wanted to protect their "Peculiar Institution" by destroying America. Never mind that it involved the former enslavement of an entire group of people for having African heritage.

The great General Robert E. Lee, who passed over fighting for the Union to join the Confederacy, was not fighting for Miss Ann's right to dress like a wedding cake. This was not the "way of life" of which they spoke, considering most Southern women couldn't even afford the damn thing and it had nothing to do with slave owning. A stupid frilly dress is simply a stupid dress no matter what fictional Southern movie heroine wore it.

I hate to tell the genius at the Alabama NAACP this, but ... um ... free women of color wore the stupid dress too (if they were of means, especially in the Louisiana Territory), because, you know, it was the FASHION AT THE TIME! Invented by the Europeans! Inspired by the Victorian Era! And these dresses to be worn in the parade aren't even accurate. They're some Barbie doll nightmare version of them. Their only sin is that they are kind of ridiculous looking, reminding me of that crochet toilet tissue topper Granny Snob has at her house in Newport, Ark.

And some of these "offensive" throwbacks happen to be black girls (eight of them, in fact. Two others are Native American and one is Asian American) and the only crime I see here is the crime of being a little over the top.

Now, offensive would be if the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan got to march a "Southern Heritage" banner down the avenue in front of the motorcade, but if period clothing is enough to inspire Don Imus-level offense then everyone needs to stop wearing cowboy boots right now. I could have swore they were popular with the people who settled the American west driving countless Native Americans off their land and eventually into reservations, to the brink of extinction.

But strangely, you know? A cowboy boot is just a pointy-toed boot popular in the South and American West. Not a symbol of brutality. Neither is a stupid dress.

A noose. A burning cross. A Rebel Flag. A Klan hood. Those are the symbols of the South's tragic, violent, racist past (and in certain cases, present). Sometimes a dress is just a dress. The only thing oppressive going on is that corset underneath which once conformed Southern ladies to an unnatural standard of tiny waist size making them more prone to fainting.

Stories like these imply that there are no serious issues left to tackle involving blacks and racism in America. They also unfairly push the stereotype that only the South has racial hangups and dirty laundry. (Um ... What's the City of Boston's excuse? Do they have a frilly dress situation there too?) Petty complaints like this imply that all we have left are word police and now, fashion police in Blackland. An unarmed black man was shot and killed in Oakland, Calif. on New Year's Day and it spurned riots. Poverty and poor education plague our cities and many parts of the South, including Alabama. We just elected our first black president, president of color, non-white president, biracial president and THIS IS THE FIGHT WE'RE PICKING?

WITH POOFY DRESSES?

Picking fights over gauzy symbols of bygone femininity will not bring us any closer to equality. Perhaps they could focus on the OTHER 99 problems (but a dress ain't one) that trouble the African slave descendents of the great state of Alabama.

Damali Ayo's Vision Finally Becomes A Reality

Black professional party girl Genevieve Jones with Alex Logsdail and Kate Werble at the Guggenheim Young Collectors Council 2007 Artist's Ball, New York, 13 December 2007. (Photo from Art Review by Tyler Coburn)

Yes, Virginia, you CAN Rent-A-Negro for your holiday party! Yes you can!

From Gawker:

Now that Obama has been elected, a tipster inside a PR firm tells us, clients are demanding "an increased number of African Americans added to the guest list" at their holiday parties. In the spirit of hope! The email can't really be "verified," but appears genuine and is just too important not to share. This firm has even assembled an official internal "Diversified Holiday Guest List," in which they rank the top 10 acceptable black socialite attendees, in order of desirability. Uh... yes we can?

Yes. Bringing your new, sparkly, hopeful (and paid for) black BFF to a swanky holiday function is now the fresh, dope, chill thing to do. After all, you can't purport to live in the post-racial era if it's still just you, Heidi Montag and the rest of the Gossip Girl crowd at the party getting tipsy on Cosmos, Mojitos, Mochatinis and Manhattans. That's not post-racial at all. But paying black socialites Genevieve Jones and Maggie Betts to hold back your hair while you hurl is the bee's knees! No one will ever accuse you of being racist again. And how could you be? You paid black people to be at your party! You're the Rainbow Coalition and a United Colors of Benetton ad French kissing Barack Obama rolled into U2's "One!"

All of this made me think of Damali Ayo's oft misunderstood, satirical/socio-political Web site and book, both entitled "How To Rent A Negro." On the site Ayo offered rates for blackness rental for everything from having living proof that you can't be racist because you have black friends to charing $100 for "hair touching."

Created back in 2003, it's almost like Ayo fortolled of the Obama era, where black people would finally be paid for answering annoying questions ("Do you tan?") and being told you look just like that one other black person the clueless tool you work with knows.

On my Facebook page I described this all as falling back into the appropriation of ourselves for our "uniqueness," re: "not whiteness," we have going. I basically said we're furniture. Black people have a history of being treated like furniture (or horses or luggage or pick your object that can be bought and sold), but it's only been in recent history where we've been able to cash in on this phenomenon. So, like Ayo joked -- half seriously -- if people are going to appropriate your cool the least you can do is get a check out of it. Think of all the times we were the only Negro at the party for free?

But remember these wise words from a fictional stripper named Diamond, my would-be rental social black butterflies -- make that money, but don't let the money make you.

Now if you don't mind, I need to put up my "Rent A Black Snob" service where I will gladly go to your parties and insult/mock your blackness impaired friends, all in a faux upper crusty accent!

Fun for everyone!

The Assassination Waltz

People keep joking about the untimely demise of President-Elect Barack Obama and it continues to not be funny. Take "artist" Apollo Braun's (aka Doron Braunshtein's) sweatshirt opus -- Who Killed Obama?

From Gawker:

Now that we have a glorious, hopey new president, it's time for the assholes to come out. Idiot L.E.S. designer Apollo Braun—famous for being the idiot who makes sweatshirts saying "Who Killed Obama?"— has issued a mumbly press release declaring that he will not stop making his idiot sweatshirts, despite alleged pressure from the FBI, which may or may not be a likely fabrication like the rest of the idiot's stories. He also gives an appropriately amusing quote!:

"I am not saying 'Kill Obama' I am only saying, 'Who Killed Obama?' And yes, you may say that I am predicting the near future ... I am still not sure if this is the best pop art creation I have ever made, or if it is the worst pop art creation I have ever made. But one thing is certain, it is definitely one pop creation that asks a lot of questions and evokes a lot of emotions in people... If I wouldn't do it, as an artist, who will?"

Great.

This isn't Braun's first attempt at being an asshole. He's a repeat offender. He created the "Who Killed Obama?" shirt back in March around the same time he was pushing an "Obama Is My Slave" T-shirt. He expressed horror that some individuals -- who may or may have not been Negroes -- expressed their discontent in the most forceful language possible. He even claimed he got roughed up by some unruly black girls, but that alleged assault is highly in doubt. Besides, claiming you were pimped slapped by tweens wearing skinny jeans who are two years out of the "That's So Raven" phase does not inspire empathy. I really don't think he was horrified by all the negative attention so much as he was delightfully pleased. He's one of those boring, pseudo hipster artist provocateurs.

[B.d.], who left the Holy Land for New York in the summer of 2001, is no stranger to controversy. One of his fashion shows featured a gay wedding between two models, one with a mask of President George W. Bush, the other wearing an Osama bin Laden mask. He doesn’t seem to be a fan of any politicians, stating he is no fan of Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and that Sen. John McCain “is not the answer” for America. His line of anti-Obama shirts has been on sale since March, sporting slogans like “Jews Against Obama,” “Obama = Hitler,” and “Who Killed Obama?” the latter of which the designer claims has sold 1,200. They sell for anywhere from $69 to $250.

I think he should just drop it and leave this sort of thing to the professionals. And by professionals I mean Ann Coulter.

Seriously. She doesn't come down to your job and knock the mop out of your hand, Pseudo Hipster Boy. Get off her race-baiting turf.

That said, since Obama started running two years ago he has endured countless threats and acts of really tacky art, including the racist whack-a-doodle clusterfuck that developed around the time when Gov. Sarah Palin was singing her no. 1 alt/country/folk/rock hit "Obama's Been Pal'in Around With Terrorists (Wouldn't You Rather Be Palin Around With Me?)"

Palin talked about infamous William Ayers so much she's still blabbering about him in interviews, but as a wise woman in a weave and hot pants once told me, if you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

Before that there were whack-a-doodles and art exhibits like the double threat of "The Assassination of Barack Obama" and "The Assassination of Hillary Clinton" created by "artist" Yazmany Arboleda earlier this year. The exhibit memorably featured a picture of Obama's adorable daughters with "Nappy Headed Hos" at the top (pictured above). I believe the exhibit was supposed to make you think. All I could think was that the artist was a tool. Like Pseudo Hipster Boy here, the artist was in it for the attention.

They're shock artists.

Sometimes shock art has a value and sometimes it's just tasteless boosterism. Look how edgy I am. I made a sculpture of Osama bin Laden raping Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch as Suri looks on and a pigeon poops on Xenu. Wow. I am so bad ass now. For $65, I'll put it on a T-shirt.

I don't see this stopping anytime soon -- the unfunny jokes, crappy assassination art and the deranged -- so for those who actually care we are going to have to endure. After all, that's what the Obamas will be doing as a family. Trying to fix the country's 1,001 problems while enduring the BS that comes with the job.

We will have to endure the threats, the shock artists and the whack-a-doodles and, dare I say it, the Sarah Palin, unless something happens that renders them all pop political eunuchs. Unless something happens that makes white supremacist groups stop using Obama's election as a recruitment tool, this is our future.

Reserve your outrage for something worthy. This tool is not it. This was more of a public service announcement. When it's "clobberin' time" you'll know. For now, simply vent as I have or share your coping mechanisms with myself and the others.

Right now, I'm just going to shout a stream of explitives then take some Clonazepam. That's how I'm making it through the next four years -- Brave. Angry. Neurotic. It's the Black Snob way.

Extreme Obama: The Good, The Bad and The Racist

It's like "hope" for your ears.

Sometimes you just feel like being a show-off. That you somehow you're the bigger Obama-ite because you've carved his visage onto the back of your head or you or you rock the "Dunk On McCain" T-shirt all-day, everyday. You've got an Obama ringtone of "Yes We Can." You've got the words "hope" and "change" tattooed on your knuckles. Good for you. For the rest of us, maybe we're looking to show our insane Fanhood of the Traveling Changelings and our esteemed respect for the Great Black Hopemongerer with something a tad more nuanced.

Like earbuds for our iPhones.

But for every harmless "I (Heart) Obama" contraption like these cute bits of ridiculousness, there is something that makes you go "Wow. That is totally racist."

You know something is racist when you can tell just by looking at it. Take Obama Waffles. They're like Aunt Jemima's, only instead of a head scarf he's rocking a turban/head wrap of some kind with references to Mecca. It was supposed to be a joke with its creators repeatedly explaining that it's "political satire" to a reporter with the American News Project in the above clip. They explain it is not racist if the box reminds you of Aunt Jemima because Aunt Jemima is a preferred product of the creators. So it's a compliment!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

The "waffles" were unveiled during the Value Voters Summit which featured marquee speakers like former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and former presidential candidate Mitt "Mittens" Romney. The Associated Press picked up on the racist breakfast item and how event organizers quickly tried to play things down, getting the hotcakes out of there not wanting the potential bad press, no doubt.

They claimed they had no knowledge of how Obama Waffles were dancing on the edge of Little Sambo.

Once again, Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Values Voter Summit organizers cut off sales of Obama Waffles boxes on Saturday, saying they had not realized the boxes displayed "offensive material." The summit and the exhibit hall where the boxes were sold had been open since Thursday afternoon.

The box was meant as political satire, said Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss, two writers from Franklin, Tenn., who created the mix. They sold it for $10 a box from a rented booth at the summit sponsored by the lobbying arm of the Family Research Council.

David Nammo, executive director of the lobbying group FRC Action, said summit organizers were told the boxes were a parody of Obama's policy positions but had not examined them closely.

Click here for video.

Never mind the fact that this unfunny breakfast treat is ignorant and plays on people's fears over Obama, probably the least scary black man in America this side of Will Smith, but it once again demonizes the religion of Islam as if praying towards Mecca was a gateway drug to suicide bombing.

I want to inform bigots such as these that Islam, Christianity and Judaism share a patriarchal origin in Abraham. That they differ in many respects, but share many of the same core principles. That Muslims actually like and admire Jesus Christ. Islam is a religion. It isn't fair to slander an entire group of people who are members of one of the largest faiths in the world, any more is it for me to condemn all Christians because a few anti-abortion extremists blew up abortion clinics and murdered doctors in the 1980s and 90s.

Every religion has good and bad apples in it. Every religion, at some point, has gone terribly, terribly wrong, abandoning its tenants. (Like the Inquisition, for example.) It's wrong to take peaceful, decent people of all ethnicities and backgrounds and conclude there is some failing in their moral fiber because they are the minority in a Christian/Secular majority culture.

Really. Grow up. Scoring political points is not an excuse to play on xenophobic, bigoted fears.

When Common Sense Isn't An Editor

Jossip ran this item in an attempt to put the whole New Yorker Mag fiasco into some perspective, arguing that both imagines should ring up as obvious exaggerations ... although, the parody of the parody has the same problem.

As someone who doesn't like John McCain, I don't read seeing a perky Cindy McCain shoveling a fistful of pills into a comatose John as a bombastic satire turning stereotypes on their edge. I read this the same way I read illustrations of how "stupid" President Bush is supposed to be -- as indictments of the man's intelligence. As a "yup, this confirms my fears quite nicely, thank-you-very-much."

It's not about intelligence, it's about perspective. The National Review isn't so obtuse to not realize that concerns about McCain's age or closeness to the president aren't mere figments, but rather hard to remedy realities in the heads of many American voters. It's not satire at this point. Remove the bit of context written and you've got instant propaganda for the opposition.

No one's worried that New Yorker readers won't get it. It's about the people who take the cover, separate it from the New Yorker and shoot it all around the world in emails, blogs, social networking sites and chat rooms writing in whatever context they see fit.

That's been the problem from minute one.

Gina McCauley, of Michelle Obama Watch and What About Our Daughters, cut right to the heart of this in an article from the San Fransisco Chronicle:

"What's sophisticated about the images they're using? A black woman with her hand on her hip? Why didn't they just have them smoking blunts and drinking a 40 (-ounce beer)?" said McCauley, who has not publicly endorsed a candidate. "These tony elites on the East Coast think they know it all. And that's what gets me. They're acting so obtuse and they're engaging in racism."

Monday, in a comment on Michelle Obama Watch, I wrote:

This is where the much smaller number of minorities within positions of power in the media, regardless of their political/philosophical leanings, becomes such a detriment for all.

When operating out of that mono-racial, often solo-gendered newsroom things that simply look like enticing, cleverly disguised gray areas to some become highly concentrated, IEDs of regurgitated racial horrors for those who know better.

Unfortunately, "those who know better" don't work there.

I'm sure the editors were just looking for new ways to push that envelop and expected some controversy (wanted it even) with this illustration, but they won't get why this is such a BIG F-ING DEAL until around Wednesday or Thursday when this is still being talked about on TV and on-line and angry black people are giving them the "Gas Face" while picketing their NYC office. They will routinely explain over and over why it is kosher while a Pan-Hellenic Council Greek chorus shouts back to them why it is not until the editors finally realize their legacy of impeccable literary journalism, anamorphic cartoons of dogs n' cats on therapist's couches and Seymour Hersch award-winners will not provide the cover necessary to save them from the wrath of "Pookie n 'em."

Some folks will call a spade a spade and that cover, sans context or with context looks awfully uncool to me.

Git Yo' Complaint On!

Concerned net citizen, Lisa (aka blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com) was kind enough to post the contact information for the Powers That Be at the New Yorker Magazine for all those who aren't satisfied with simply logging their complaints in the blogosphere. Let your displeasure be heard!

Phone number:
800-825-2510

(This is the number for the Subscriptions Department but people can ask to be connected to David Miller.)

Or they can write a letter:

David Miller
Associate Publisher
The New Yorker
4 Times Square
New York, NY 10036

david_miller@newyorker.com
shouts@newyorker.com

fax: 212-286-5024

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Goodness gracious, geez Louise. I realize that this form of "satire" is irresistible to some illustrators but it's so amazingly over the top and unnecessary and so obvious that I wonder if they realize their version of "edgy" has simply become another form of propaganda? It's as if the only way they know how to make fun of Baracknophobia is to openly endorse Baracknophobia. There are other ways to dramatize these points but it seems some choose the most crude and obvious every time.

The illustration will be running on the cover of July 21 New Yorker Magazine. Blogs Michelle Obama Watch and What About Our Daughters liken it to the "lynching" image of Michelle from Daily Kos earlier this year. The Obama campaign is also not happy.

Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton called it "tasteless and offensive" and, according to Jake Tapper at ABC, another high-profile Obama supporter called it "as offensive a caricature as any magazine could publish." Huffington Post.

I'm too tired to be offended. I promise to be real mad tomorrow.

Hold up. I can't even promise that. This is just going to keep happening until November so wake me up when something really out of pocket happens. Like CNN starts showing live in primetime blackface vaudeville acts of Barack and Michelle starring Tucker Carlson and Ann Coulter, narrated by Shush Hannitibaugh. Then I'll get good and pissed off like.