For some reason, after years of using Alan Colmes as a personal punching bag for bringing a thesaurus to a knife fight, Sean Hannity is doing to pre-inaugural stunt casting and has invited Rev. Al Sharpton and Meatloaf to an upcoming segment of his shout-fest on FOX News. I don't know if this is just to stir up some trouble/ratings, but say what you will about the Good Reverend Al -- he's no Al Colmes.
My one true criticism of Hannity (coveted winner of The Black Snob's "Most Hated" award on "Top Pundit") was that it was unfair to bring the mild-mannered, librarian like Colmes to his Fight Night at the Apollo Creed-like show. If he had his druthers and really wanted to stir up things he'd have on someone as loud and crazy as himself, like Ed Schultz, who I can't stand, because he is just as irresponsible with his words and conspiracy theories as Hannity is. A nut should fight a nut, but no, he picked Colmes to berate and mock because he wanted to promote the stereotype of the wimpy, effete Liberal (even though Colmes sort of developed a bit of a spine as Obama gained momentum towards the end, perhaps knowing that he was totally blowing this Popsicle stand once the election was over).
Al is more like Ed than he is like Alan. A matter of fact, he's a lot like Ed, only Al (shock of shocks) is slightly more responsible about the words that come flying out of his mouth. Dare I say it: he has some restraint compared to the feral Schultz. That said, Al is as much of a scheming, sly opportunist as Hannity and a likely bit smarter around the mouth area. He will be bringing a gun underneath that James Brown perm to the knife fight? You know the Good Reverend always does!
So what is this? Suicidal or crazy like a FOX News show? I think it's a little of both. And if Hannity is savvy, he will bring on more lefty whackadooes and less Liberal cockadoos, re: people as nutters as he is on the left, to produce a more "entertaining" fight for the masses. Plus, he might get some people other than the regulars to watch the show and all TV news is turning into shouting as a viable public discourse so, why not? He could actually claim the "high horse" over Keith Olbermann and charge that he at least has Liberals on his show to mock regularly, as opposed to fellow ideologues and "impartial" beat reporters.
And that is my biggest criticism of Keith, who I enjoy occasionally, but sometimes annoys the shit out of me. At least Chris Matthews and Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly invite the opposition onto Hardball and The Factor to get shouted down and berated like the condemned, sans ciggie, in front of a loud, obnoxious, verbal-diarrhea afflicted firing squad. Keith is as loud as the rest of them. What gives? Why is lovable, hateful, crazy Pat Buchanan the only member of the Fightin' Fruitcakes to get an occasional spot at the table? I mean, I love crazy Pat the Bigot as much as the next person, but, c'mon, you could have his equally hateful sister, Bay, on once and awhile! Jon Stewart does!
But back to the question at hand: Hannity versus Sharpton -- will you watch? (Or will you watch it on YouTube, I should say. I know some of us are pretty adamant about not supporting FOX in any form.)
The new Alan Colmes-less Hannity premieres Monday with frequent Fox News guest Al Sharpton filling the liberal seat on Sean Hannity's newly christened "Great American Panel."
Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-Minn.) will fill the seat on the right. (And she should have plenty to talk about given the Senate dispute in her state between Al Franken and Norm Coleman.) ...
Hannity will employ a rotating panel in lieu of a permanent ideological counterpoint. The show will also bow a few new elements including the Hate Hannity Hotline featuring highlights from Hannity haters.
Side note: If Hannity's show does turn into "Fight Club" would this mean that FOX News has actually recreated CNN's "iconic" (and I say that ironically) original political fight club show, Crossfire? And does that mean Jon Stewart can get invited on to kill the show again? Because that, my friend, that was awesome. Jon Stewart KILLED A SHOW!
This week on "The Perils of Sarah Palin," Alaska governor, veepstakes loser Sarah Palin continued jumping in front of microphones and cameras and saying things that never needed to be said for ... I don't know ... the amusement of schadenfreude loving Liberals? Late night comics? Evil Keith Olbermann? Why is she talking again? (And why is Joe the Not Plumber going to Israel to cover the bloodbath in Gaza?)
But most of all, why is she talking about this?
Palin also complained about reports suggesting that Trig Palin was not her son and said she was "frustrated" by rampant rumors about her and her family. However, mainstream media stayed away from such rumors, which were fueled by bloggers and others online and the supermarket tabloids.
"I wasn't believed that Trig was really my son," she said. She called it a "sad state of affairs."
"What is the double-standard here?" she asked. "Why would people choose to believe lies? What is it that drives people to believe the worst, perpetuate the worst?"
"When did we start accepting as hard news sources bloggers, anonymous bloggers especially?" she asked. (Huffington Post)
Why does Palin even bring up Andrew Sullivan's favorite sexy Palin conspiracy theory? No one in TV or in print touched this shit as they did not want it to get on them, stinking up the joint. This was PURELY an internet phenomenon. Yet, she talks about it openly as if the New York Times had reporters bribing her OB/GYN. As if Bill O'Reilly was giving in-depth chats on the status of her daughter's hymien with the rest of The Factor. Why even discuss it, you media-un-savvy nimrod? Why?
As I wrote on Facebook Friday (and feel compelled to share here), I just don't get why she would even bring it up or entertain questions about it. It would be akin to Hillary Clinton taking questions about her assistant allegedly being her Lesbian lover or that she killed Vince Foster. I mean, no one who considers themselves serious media would touch that shit with a 10 foot pole, but Sarah is literally dancing on the pole with pasties on. I mean, GET OFF THE POLE, woman! GET OFF THE POLE!
I don't know if taking time out for Saturday Night Live in the middle of a heated campaign was a smooth move for John McCain, but it was a hilarious move.
Reliving some of his SNL glory days, John McCain did a great parody of John McCain (including the nervous blinking, but I don't think he was doing that on purpose), with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, perfect as ever ... going rogue by threatening to never leave the national stage. It's either the White House or "the white Oprah." Brava and bravo, Fey and McCain.
McCain was also pretty good on the Weekend Update segment introducing new political moves like "The Double Maverick" and "The Sad Grandpa" in which he said the strategy was to whine that Obama would have plenty of chances to be president and it was McCain's turn. Once again, what will SNL do once this is all over? The comedy show will be doing a special election episode on Monday on NBC.
The show also had some fun at MSNBC's Keith Olbermann expense. The sketch was a bit wordy and ran long (just like My Fair Keithy). It was also more than eight minutes and starred the evenings co-host Ben Affleck who kept cracking himself up while trying to shout all his lines. It eventually hit the funny button hard when Affleck did a cheesy send up of Olbermann's sometimes self-righteous "Special Comments" by making it about him trying to get a three bedroom apartment that wouldn't take him because he owned a cat. A fluffy, white, fey as all get out, cat.
There was even a sketch of "The View" and while it wasn't as good as the above three, if you closed your eyes Kristen Wiig's Elisabeth Hasselbeck was so good it was horrifying. Fred Armisen's Joy Behar was both right and wrong and one-dimensional and Joy's not that bad. As for Kennan, your Whoopi sucked, but you're the only black person on the show. I guess you can only do so much with what they give you. And Casey New Girl What's Your Face? That was a Jennifer Aniston parody? Was that the ONLY celeb they could think for you to do (or the only celeb you could do)? Lame, new girl. Very lame.
After the "O-mercial" Wednesday night, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews sat down and had a little chat about it. After calling it effective and romantic Matthews, suddenly, as if reading from some stage play entitled "A Black Man's Lament," went into a lengthy rant how Barack Obama and the Obamas as a family have done EVERYTHING America has ever said black people needed to do, yet, some whites were still recalcitrant in accepting Obama, maybe more interested in forever moving the racial acceptance goal posts on "what a brotha has to do to be your new black BFF."
Chris, apparently, so moved by the O-mercial, can't take it anymore. If you still think Barack Obama isn't American enough why ... why ... why ... Chris Matthews doesn't like you very much right now. As I said to a friend, "Chris has converted suddenly from Catholicism to Negroism ... Like he went 'THAT'S IT! I've gone black and I'm NEVER GOING BACK! Bring on the chittlins!'"
(What's an Irish brotha gotta do to get you to vote for Obama rant begins at 2:50 on the video clip.)
Hmm. I don't think David Letterman appreciates being stood up, nor do I think he believes John McCain's sudden "urgency" theory about why he needed to suspend his campaign. Hmmm. Not good. You don't want to piss off the court jesters, Johnny Mac. They are brutal! And to dish on you in front of Bill O'Reilly's sworn enemy Keith Olbermann and to make the Olbermann giggle and invite him to partake in zingers? Consider my jaw unhinged. The boldness! The lack of shame!
Well. It is more fun to watch. Reasons why?Gawker writer Pareene pens that Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann are smart, the change to David Gregory won't shut up conservative critics and bitchery makes good TV.
Remember how conservatives have spent 100 years decrying the liberal bias of CNN? The CNN that is now represented by the apolitically moronic Wolf Blitzer and the inoffensive cuddly unicorn Anderson Cooper? Both of whom are useless and boring at covering politics? This won't shut up any critics, at all. Show some fucking backbone.
... We already called Blitzer a moron, and we meant it. The man's journalistic expertise is limited to an ability to stand up for a long time and babble at length without too much dead air. Matthews and Olbermann are blowhards and egomaniacs, yes, and they're far too pleased with themselves when they do something like reference some 70-year-old Capra movie, but they actually know a lot about history and politics.
MSNBC's facade is cracking in the ugliest way in a little game of "my ego is bigger than God's"
It's been nine months in the making.
Since the night of the Iowa caucuses I wondered how long perennial third-runner-up cable news network MSNBC could last with two of its biggest personalities anchoring their campaign coverage.
Now the grand, dysfunctional marriage of Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann is no more.
MSNBC tried a bold experiment this year by putting two politically incendiary hosts, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews, in the anchor chair to lead the cable news channel’s coverage of the election.
That experiment appears to be over.
After months of accusations of political bias and simmering animosity between MSNBC and its parent network NBC, the channel decided over the weekend that the NBC News correspondent and MSNBC host David Gregory would anchor news coverage of the coming debates and election night. Mr. Olbermann and Mr. Matthews will remain as analysts during the coverage.
The change — which comes in the home stretch of the long election cycle — is a direct result of tensions associated with the channel’s perceived shift to the political left.
“The most disappointing shift is to see the partisan attitude move from prime time into what’s supposed to be straight news programming,” said Davidson Goldin, formerly the editorial director of MSNBC and a co-founder of the reputation management firm DolceGoldin.
While I enjoy the ham fisted, bludgeoning style of Chris Matthews and the colorfully crazy, die hard Liberalism of Keith Olbermann in their separate parts, together they were trainwreck television. This was compounded by the fact that opinionated pundits-cum-partisans should not anchor news coverage.
I don't care if Matthews considers himself a bipartisan pugilist or that Olbermann has such an enormous, self-righteous stick up his ass that primary nights turned him into some faux Edward R. Murrow. If you give your opinion on television professionally and dress it as news (paging Bill O'Reilly) you shouldn't host something that is supposed to be straight-up, no chaser hard news.
The same goes for every cable network, from FOX News to CNN, who both like to truck out the occasional hacky host to toss in their two cents on a serious political news story. I don't know how many times I've been disgusted to see Lou Dobbs wandering around the election desk at CNN posing questions to the pundits when he, himself, is a pundit and should be sitting down at the desk with Donna Brazile and Amy Holmes and Carl Bernstein.
Olbermann and Matthews are MSNBC's biggest stars. For a long time Matthews was their only headliner, but as they've lurched to the left to counter FOX News' hard right spin (while denying they are doing such) they have front-loaded the network with professional spin misters -- some good, some awful -- from rebel, ousted Republican congressman Joe Scarborough, professional asshat Tucker Carlson (who's show was canceled), the Liberally nice but clueless Dan Abrams (also canceled), recently hired, Air America rising star Rachel Maddow. Matthews' stalwart beat down of show "Hardball" used to be the cornerstone, but now Olbermann's "Countdown" is the glorious, Lefty beacon the network has bet the farm on.
Mr. Olbermann, a 49-year-old former sportscaster, has become the face of the more aggressive MSNBC, and the lightning rod for much of the criticism. His program “Countdown,” now a liberal institution, was created by Mr. Olbermann in 2003 but it found its voice in his gnawing dissent regarding the Bush administration, often in the form of “special comment” segments.
As Mr. Olbermann raised his voice, his ratings rose as well, and he now reaches more than one million viewers a night, a higher television rating than any other show in the troubled 12-year history of the network. As a result, his identity largely defines MSNBC. “They have banked the entirety of the network on Keith Olbermann,” one employee said.
But the historic 2008 presidential race revealed NBC's redheaded cable stepchild to be like "a heroin addict ... They’re living from fix to fix and swearing they’ll go into rehab the next week.”
The Huffington Post has covered the testy battle, blow-for-blow, for months, bringing things to a fever pitch since the convention coverage began. Dubbing it "MSNBC Implosion."
Shuster touched a nerve when he called Scarborough a Republican in a fairly pointless fight over the Iraqis wanting the US out. Scarborough has some famously bitter relations with his political party and was upset that Shuster would target him for being partisan, later telling NPR he “get[s] frustrated by people who have an obvious partisan bias that don't proclaim that bias. (Politico)”
Per Politico and YouTube the "uncomfortable" nearly seven minute exchange devolved into this:
On “Morning Joe” the following day, a clearly agitated Scarborough went off on Shuster during a discussion of Iraq, which quickly devolved over several cringe-worthy minutes into personal attacks, such as Scarborough telling the world how his colleague missed the show three times by oversleeping. "Are you Rip Van Shuster?” Scarborough asked. “Have you been sleeping for the past couple of months?”
But Scarborough, a former Republican congressman from Florida, became enraged when Shuster made a reference to “your party.” Asked by Scarborough what his party was, Schuster said he was an “independent.”
"I feel so comforted by the fact that you're an independent,” Scarborough said, in a mocking tone. “I bet everybody at MSNBC has independent on their voting cards. Oh, we're down the middle now.” (Shuster left the set, but returned later to hug it out, "Entourage"-style.)
"I think Keith has gone too far. I think Chris has gone too far," the veteran NBC newsman said at a forum sponsored by Harvard's Shorenstein press center. But Brokaw said that they are "commentators" and "not the only voices" on MSNBC and that viewers could sort it out.
"The idea of anyone trying to ban Tom Brokaw is ludicrous," said one MSNBC staffer.
At a forum, Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell accused the network out for being in the tank for Barack Obama's campaign. Olbermann was then accused of cock-blocking conservative NBC consultant Mike Murphy, wanting him off the network. Various sources began alleging that Olbermann turned into a power hungry, egocentric nightmare who could get away with murder. His bosses allegedly defended him in public, but bitched about his rumored prima donna behavior in private.
Then came the Republican National Convention coverage where not-so-strangely Olbermann stayed and anchored in New York while Matthews went to St. Paul, Minn.
While Olbermann had a point in the gratuity and exploitive nature of using footage of terrorist attacks in a tribute video, apologizing for the footage was yet again another intrusion of his opinion into the campaign coverage. The issue would have been better served if the commentators they'd employed were asked their opinions about the veracity of the video rather than become self-righteous as Olbermann is prone to do.
Then there was the not-too-subtle partisan slant that was developing in the evening campaign coverage.
Nobody, including all of MSNBC, believes (MSNBC President) Phil Griffin when he says "MSNBC does not have an ideology … We hire smart people who are passionate about their love of politics and love of news." Says one veteran off-camera staffer: "Bullshit … It's a total farce." It's a shame that MSNBC can't own up to the way it's leaning, if only because now it can't separate itself from the same charges aimed at Fox News — that it leans one way politically but pretends to be balanced. (Jossip)
Even former CBS Evening News co-anchor, former MSNBC staffer and all-around whackadoo Connie Chung was calling for this white male testosterone, nerdy fueled crew to "grow up."
And you know if Chung says you've hit rock bottom you've got issues.
But the coup du grace came when The Daily Show'sJon Stewart proclaimed the MSNBC drama was "'Lord of the Flies' on the NBC roof! I wonder which one has the conch and which one is Piggy?"
Naming all the principle players after characters from The Muppet Show -- Matthews and Olbermann became balcony bickers Statler and Waldorf, Scarborough - Sam the Eagle and Shuster as "Beeker," likely for his beyond annoying voice.
It's funny, brutal and sadly true, leading us to Sunday night's breaking news that all is over.
Olbermann and Matthews will be mere commentators, as they should be, and David Gregory, NBC political reporter, will host the upcoming debates and additional evening campaign coverage on the cable network.
Gregory is one of the journalists rumored to be up for Tim Russert's job as host of NBC's Meet the Press.
Love or hate Gregory, at least he's a professional. I'm rather indifferent about him, but anyone who asks hard enough questions to get George W. Bush and White House Press Secretary Dana Perino flummoxed is good enough for me. I never understood why NBC didn't use its better talented but undeserved employees to do the heavy lifting for MSNBC anyway?
Why have the Today Show/Dateline'sAnn Curry play Vanna White when she could carry the election coverage herself? And I'm not just suggesting Ann Curry because, jokingly, I often refer she is the cocaine and strawberries of Hapa journalists. She actually has talent.
Or Ed Bradley Award for Journalistic Hotness runner-up and weekend Today host Lester Holt. What's he doing? Hire back Bryant Gumbel. Steal Soledad O'Brien from CNN. They don't know what to do with her anyway. What happened to the $7 million man, my fellow St. Louisan Stone Phillips? Steal my other fellow St. Louisan and Ed Bradley Award for Journalist Hotness runner-up Russ Mitchell from CBS? Where's more war reports from war hottie Richard Engel? What's Kevin Corke doing? Use more Chuck Todd, for heavens sake!
Get someone legitimate. Stop stocking your morning broadcasting with bland, uninteresting pretty faces. Stop being so blatantly partisan that even FOX is mocking you. Get a hold of yourselves!
I like Olbermann. I like Matthews. Hell, I even like Scarborough and I almost never agree with him. I love Rachel Maddow. All you need to do is hire some serious minority journalists/commentators to host (like occasional "Countdown" stand-in, former MTV reporter and former NPR host Alison Stewart.) Put my favorite pundit I love/hate Amy Holmes on Morning Joe. Stick Michelle Bernard anywhere to balance out a ticket. I love her weave and her bitchatude (like Holmes') is awesome.
And Ann Curry. Seriously. Put Alison Stewart, Ann Curry, David Gregory, steal Russ Mitchell and bring back the Gumbel and you'll finally have some meat on those skinny news bones.
I'm a journalist first, a lefty second. Let's stop freebasing The Nation magazine, Media Matters and Jonathon Kozol books and get back to what real broadcast journalism is -- a loopy dance between objectivity and entertainment.
I love Keith to bits, but a viewer can't live on Bush Hate alone.
A few weeks ago I wrote this mini-satirical play after writing about the media's obsession with The Clintons, particularly Chris Matthews' obsession with them, and how-oh-how would they get high without their "Clinton Crack." It still seemed relevant since the media has started to transfer off the Clinton Crack to 24-7 Obama Obsession. Since I'm a tad busy today, and this bit didn't quite fit for the SCAN blog, I thought I'd share with you my ode to political press addiction starring Matthews, political pundit Andrea Mitchell and MSNBC's Countdown host Keith Olbermann:
"It'll Get You High."
Setting: MSNBC studios. Chris Matthews is sitting at the "Hardball" set reading through the script while Andrea Mitchell sits across from him also reading her notes. Both look a little out of sorts, especially Andrea who keeps scratching herself and is sweating profusely. They both look jittery and stressed as they prepare for tonight's show.
Chris Matthews: (Reading over his script for "Hardball") Tonight! Surrogates gone wild? Jesse Jackson is caught making an off air mumble that's become a mess for ... I (slamming down the script) ... I can't do this. It's just ... it's just not the same! I need my Clinton Crack! (scratching underarms) I'm jonesing over here! Look, Andrea! My face is all bloated and red!
Andrea Mitchell: (Involuntarily twitching) Your face is always bloated and red, you ignominious bastard! There would still be some Clinton Crack if you hadn't smoked it all!
Chris: (To himself) I can't go back.
Andrea: (Wiping nose, suddenly calm) I sometimes huff paint thinner.
Chris: Really? Does it work?
Andrea: It'll get you high. I mean, if you're desperate.
Chris: I don't know. You said that about Romney refeer and all it did was make me gain 20 pounds and buy a bunch of Marie Osmond records. I guess I could try that Brangelina stuff, but that seems more like a kid's party drug.
Andrea: I lost 10 pounds doing Brangelina, but I also stopped sleeping, had sex with Billy Bob Thorton and adopted six Ugandan orphans.
ENTER KEITH OLBERMANN
Keith Olbermann enters the set, walking by, looking peppy.
Chris: How do you do it Keith? Your eyes are always so glassy and you always look so happy, despite being nebbish and tense and kind of killjoy. What are you on? And don't say Ron Paul freebase because Jack Cafferty sold me a sack of that shit and it does not work!
Keith looks left-to-right then leans in to take a seat next to Chris and Andrea.
Keith Olbermann: (whispers) I have something TEN TIMES more potent than Clinton Crack.
Chris: I'm interested.
Keith: Obama Opium.
Chris: Opium? They still make that?
Keith: No. Not just regular opium. Obama Opium. It's the main ingredient in Black Tar Heroin.
Chris: I think they liked to be called African American now.
Keith: What?
Chris: It would be African American Tar Heroin. You know? I thought you were more racially sensitive than that? Whatever. Forget about it. Tell me about the drugs. Where did you get it?
Keith: Well, you can't tell anyone.
Chris: This is just between you me and Andrea.
Andrea: (twitching) Did you just say you had some Clinton Crack?
Keith: No.
Andrea: Because we'd have some if Chris hadn't smoked it all!
Chris: I get it, Andrea! I'm a fat bastard. All right, Keith. Tell us. Where did you get the stuff?
Keith: (mumbles) Muurrr-murrrr.
Chris: What? Speak up. Why are you mumbling?
Keith: Sean Hannity.
Chris: What?
Keith: I got it through Alan Combs from Sean Hannity. I was desperate. It so hard to act like I give a shit night after night. I just needed a little something to take the edge off. I used to snort that Bush Blow, but it doesn't work like it used to. Plus it made me really, really angry. Or maybe that was just the Rove 'Roids. I was trying to lose weight. I just needed something to even me out and Combs told me Sean was smoking the Big O every night. He hooked me up.
Chris: Does it work?
Keith: Oh (smiling) ... it'll get you high.
Chris: Can you boil it down like real Heroin because I just want to take a shot of Barack and put it in a hypodermic needle and shoot it right into my eye ball?
Keith: I think I have a spoon around here somewhere.
Chris: I'm excited about this. I mean, I've been using Clinton Crack since 1992. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. But I only partied with it. Nothing serious. Then one day, boom, it was gone. I forgot about it. Didn't touch anything. But then they came back. And there was just so much of it. I didn't really pace myself. So ... so I'm in deep shit. I mean. I gotta have it. I need it. I want it. But they cut me off. I asked James Carville two months ago if I could get 5 grams of Bubba for $50 and that son-of-a-bitch said "Drug store's closed." Can you believe that? Drug store's closed! I've had to get my Clinton Crack through Andrea ever since.
Keith: (to Chris while cooking the drugs) Don't go crazy with this. Alan said Hannity's been hitting it so hard he almost OD'ed while watching some Rev. Wright footage Sunday. He's sobriety partners with Rush Limbaugh now.
Chris: I bet Rush does a lot of this stuff.
Keith: Nah. He's on Nicorette and OxyContin-laced Twinkies dipped in embalming fluid now.
Andrea: They call them "RushBaughs." I tried that once and I woke up fully dressed in a bathtub full of water after a party at Brian Williams' house. Brian doesn't do drugs but Willard Scott was passing them out. I just thought they were hor' devours. One minute I was dancing to Starland Vocal Band and making out with Ann Curry, then the next I was up to my neck in warm, soapy water. It was sooo awkward when Brian asked me to pass him the soap. He has very nice abs for such a boring man.
Keith: Wait ... he was?
Andrea: He said he didn't want to wake me, but regained consciousness when my head slipped underwater and I almost inhaled his loofah. And that's not a euphemism. I was actually gagging on a his sponge.
Keith finishes cooking the Obama Opium and draws it into a hypodermic needle.
Keith: You kissed Ann Curry? What was that like?
Andrea: She tasted like cocaine and strawberries.
Chris: (Annoyed) Enough with the chit chat! Let's do this. (Rolls up sleeve and ties belt around forearm) Get me high, mother fucker!