Would the Real Sarah Palin Please Stand Up?

Some observations from Sarah Palin's latest Katie Couric, CBS News related trainwreck:

1) Is this a joke? Seriously? She couldn't name a news paper? Not even the ones owned by Rupert Murdoch (New York Post, The Wall Street Journal) or the conservative alternative in D.C., The Washington Times? What kind of conservative is she? She couldn't think of a magazine? The National Review? The Weekly Standard? The American Spectator? The American Conservative? I don't even READ these publications and I know about them. She couldn't name something safe like The New York Times or The Washington Post? USA Today? No, she just says she reads "all of them" or whatever people give her. Is this performance art at this point? Thank God you can train and memorize for a debate, because when it comes to a TV interview this woman is a walking, talking nightmare.

2) She's a pro-life conservative, but ... she calls herself a feminist, she's cool with the gays (no judgments even though she calls it a "choice), she has no problem with most contraceptives (stopping short of the morning after pill), is for evolution being taught in schools, that man is partially responsible for global warming, and doesn't have a home church, only going to a variety of churches sometimes, a la our current president (who doesn't go to church) and her running mate, the other original maverick. She's already pissed off the intellectuals. Now she wants to leave the churchniks with some doubts? Who ARE you, Sarah Palin? And you're pro-Union (an issue not addressed in the interview)? WHO ARE YOU??? Dorothy, we are not in Kansas anymore.

Would the real original maverick please stand up? Because I could have sworn she was being sold as a hardcore faith-based, intelligent design jockeying, pray-the-gay-away churchnik and in the body of a pretty n' tough "hockey mom." I'm getting conflicting messages!

Palin Brings Her Dad to Beat Up "Mean" Katie Couric; Instead World's Most Uncomfortable Interview Ensues

Monday Night Gov. Sarah Palin returned to CBS News with her dad running-mate John McCain for another round with the perkiest network anchor in the biz, Katie Couric. I don't know if he or she or they helped themselves much. Even though I've heard that this dual interview was scheduled long in advance they HAD to know what this would look like.

A parent/teacher's conference.

Katie: Sarah hasn't been doing very well with her oral exams. I don't think she's been taking her studies serious enough.

John: I assure you I am working very hard with Sarah and her tutors and she is prepared and will be prepared for her big test on Thursday. I promise. She promises. She's ready.

Sarah: But Dad, if I could just say ...

John: Quiet you!

And for bonus points, Couric STILL managing to get the goat of Palin with Palin's own gaffes, sidesteps and faux pas. She is really making Couric out to be a far better interviewer than she's ever been. I mean, Couric is not known for bludgeoning or out-smarting her guests. She kills with kindness and Katie's one more interview of doing the work of The George Will Revolt for them.

And at last check, The George Will Revolt now includes: ringleader George Will, David Brooks, Kathleen Parker, David Frum, Peggy Noonan, Mike Murphy and the son of William F. Buckley, satirist Christopher Buckley, who, like a good satirist, has made fun of this entire sorted affair (but is sympathetic to the poor dear).

Leslie Sanchez, a person who I'm going to bite my tongue and describe as "not stupid," labeled these individuals as part of the conservative intellectual elite. (Is elite the new "bastard" or N-word now?) So did Bill Bennett. This is laughable considering Sanchez and Bennett aren't exactly slumming it with the degrees, advanced degrees, fancy white collar jobs and radio shows and such. These individuals aren't exactly Larry the Cable Guy.

Larry actually has a purpose. He makes people happy. And he's acting. I've interviewed the man before. He just plays an idiot. In the real world he's a smart, capable entertainer who created a lucrative market for himself -- the undeserved subgroup who read Jeff Foxworthy's "You know You're A Redneck If ..." and clamored for more.

I honestly don't know what Sanchez and Bennett do for the human race other than play good little soldiers on this Palin thing. And that's really what this is about. The separation between the conservatives who won't go along to get along and the troopers. Sanchez is a trooper, as is Bennett, Amy Holmes, Alex Castellanos, Sean Hannity, etc. are all willing to reserve judgment, to bite the tongue, to keep the faith unless the wheels completely fly off.*

Some snap sooner than others (see Murphy, Mike). But he might have stayed on the reservation if he'd realized that camera was still rolling when he and Noonan went all "IT'S OVER! McCain '08 is DOOOOOMED!" in regards to McCain picking Palin.

It's only when shit officially hits the fan that out of exasperation (and shame) that they put down those buckets of water they're carrying and mutter something that sounds like doubt.

Until then -- of COURSE Sarah Palin is qualified and I'm a sexist for pointing out her weaknesses!

Sidenote: Couric is STILL releasing more of her interviews with Palin. Hasn't she put that woman through ENOUGH?!?!?! Couric is a cruel news mistress.

*These individuals should not be included with characters like Pat Buchanan, Bay Buchanan, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh, Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly. While all these individuals are right wingers their ego and personal issues supercede party politics. So they're a little unreliable, and with the exception of maybe the delightfully hateful siblings Buchanan, if it's between you and their ratings you're going down mother fucker!

David Letterman: Still Bitter!

Hell hath no fury like a Letterman scorned. Maybe it's just me, but I think Dave might be taking this a tad personal.

Someone Stop the Bleeding

Lawd, have mercy. I didn't think anything could be worse than the first interview. It's like Katie's Mike Wallace here. I actually winced through the uncomfortably long Russia-Alaska-Canada connection. It was beyond absurd. Especially considering the part of "Russia" they are near is the most sparsely populated part -- Siberia -- home of the arctic tundra, a few prisons and oil pipelines.

She also made a strange reference to Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin that didin't make a lick of sense. Then proceed to praise Henry Kissenger then claim Kissenger was not for talking with Iranian officials or President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad without conditions only for Couric to correct in the bookend to her interview that Palin didn't know what she was talking about. Again.

And now it is officially depressing and part of me feels some pity. Katie? Why did you have to be so cruel? Why did you have to ask questions? Why couldn't you have been more like Sean Hannity and stack your interview with leading, loaded questions about how wrong everyone is and how right she and John McCain are? Why would you just set up the pins so her talking points could come knock them down? No. You had to open your mouth, say things then expect Sarah to say things back. Mean, Katie. Sooo mean.

Katie Couric Beats the Palin Pinata

When CBS News anchor Katie Couric starts getting licks in it's time to be concerned. I'm not saying Couric is a bad journalist or a featherweight. I didn't mind her all when she was on the Today Show. And sure, she's the second-to-weakest link on 60 Minutes. (The weakest would be Anderson Cooper. I still don't know why he's there.) But when Katie starts pulling jack moves at the end of the interview pointing out how you are dodging her question, whipping out the "not to belabor the point" at the end, only to watch you slap yourself silly with the fact that you don't know what you're talking about you're in trouble. No wonder Sarah Palin is being sheilded from the press. Sweet Betsy, someone might ask her a real question and expect her to know things like "facts" and "her running-mate's voting record." The best she can do is be Talking Points Bot 1.0. All she can do is regurgitate what they made her memorize. Shallow is as deep as this kiddie pool goes.