The Economist Endorses Obama

Apparently the magazine didn't get the memo on Barry being a "spread the wealth," socialist, anti-capitalist red. Shame when that happens. Obviously McCain Campaign flack Tucker Bounds is not doing his job in getting the smears out n' stickin'.

From The Economist:

(T)his cannot be another election where the choice is based merely on fear. In terms of painting a brighter future for America and the world, Mr Obama has produced the more compelling and detailed portrait. He has campaigned with more style, intelligence and discipline than his opponent. Whether he can fulfil his immense potential remains to be seen. But Mr Obama deserves the presidency.

This doesn't mean The Economist is in love with Obama. They're concerned about how he'll handle the Congressional Democrats if they start pushing protectionist economic policies and acknowledge that he doesn't have a lengthy resume to do extensive tea leaf readings on. But like many members of The George Will Revolt, The Economist's editors couldn't get over how different the John McCain of 2008 was from the John McCain of 2000. And Gov. Sarah Palin? She almost made them spit up their blackberries and brie.

The choice of Sarah Palin epitomised the sloppiness. It is not just that she is an unconvincing stand-in, nor even that she seems to have been chosen partly for her views on divisive social issues, notably abortion. Mr McCain made his most important appointment having met her just twice.

The Republicans really left them with no other choice ... and somewhere Mitt "Mittens" Romney, former governor of Massachusetts, is rubbing his hands together, prepared to pull the lever for Obama -- not because he likes the candidate (Heavens no!), but to make sure it's his economic phoenix who will emerge from the ashes of what he hopes will be a crash and burn one-term presidency to give The Economist the free market, ship your jobs to China, lower your tariffs and raise your dividends, lover candidate she deserves in 2012.

Now he just has to get that woman out of the way.

Mourning Mittens

While I didn't want Mitt Romney anywhere near 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I, like many people who enjoy the magical phoniness that is Mitt Romney, am crushed (Crushed, I tell you!) that he won't be available to make fun of for the next 67 days.

It was my dream to see both John McCain and Mitt Romney stand next to each other all sour patches while trying not to vomit or murder one another. Maybe that was the problem. Because if Mitt were veep it would be creepy to have him call every morning to ask John, "How are feeling today? Do you feel the cold hand of the Grim Reaper itching closer? Like they always say, John, go into the light!"

Maybe Gov. Sarah Palin is able to get out her talking points without everyone wanting to take a shower afterwards. But the real victim in all this is me. All I wanted was to have Mittens back for me to kick around. My visions of seeing Mad Joe Biden taking The Crazy to Mittens in a debate. Hearing Mittens lie about things he didn't have to lie about. Tell me how your dad walked with Dr. King again, Mittens! I liked that story!

And I felt sorry for Mittens. As the primary progressed the other Republican ladies-in-waiting started playing John McCain's backup dancers during debates. They would all take turns taking a Louisville Slugger to Mittens' lil' mitts. They just wouldn't stop picking on him. He can't help it that he looks like a game show host and went from being moderate-to-hard right in the span of one soundbite.

He wanted to be president, dammit! He didn't care how. And then people stopped donating so he kept spending his own cash. He was going to purchase what We the People wouldn't deliver. See? McCain could use a guy who could write his own checks, but Romney was denied ... again. Now he sits there, all salty, because he's been shit-grinning and kissing McCain's ass for months and now all that hard work FOR NOTHING. Endorsing him at CPAC where he'd become some conservative folk hero while McCain got booed? FOR NOTHING. Pretending to find McCain smart, impressive, inspiring or dynamic and defending him on TV? FOR NOTHING.

Mittens' kissed ass for more than four months and all he got was yet another slap down from McCain, only this slap down was governor of Alaska for less than two years and doesn't have $220 million.

Boo!

There were so many things I hadn't made fun of yet about you, Mittens. So many things. Like how you look like you style your hair with Armor All and that you stage massive tournaments of charades and Risk with the Osmond family at your compound. There will never be a candidate out of central casting more cheesy than you, and that's what makes you special.

Sigh.

While I work up some material on this, Palin person, I guess I'll just have to wonder what could have been ...

... Made fun of.

We've Only Just Begun

It was big. It was beautiful. It was just the beginning ... I hope.

I'm too mentally fried to write anything of substantive nature. All I can say is that 1) the speech was so perfect even Pat Buchanan had to agree, 2) I will never tire of looking at Michelle and the girls, 3) I enjoyed the moment and all its fullness and 4) I was glad he turned the "popularity breeds contempt" celebrity meme on its head by pointing out it was the acts of millions of individuals that put him on that platform. That the campaign is about them, us and the rest of America. Not him.

And could Joe Biden not be more stoked to be veep? Grinning, two fists in the air, I half expected him to leap into the crowd and start body surfing because The Crazy caught a-hold of him.

Now I will sit and wait to be "shocked and awed" by John McCain doing something lame, like not picking his loathed primary rival Mitt Romney for veep. (Everyone is murmuring he'll ring-a-rosy around Tim Paw-who-the-hell-knows-who-this-dude-is-lenty. I'm really wanting to see Ann Romney, the handsome but not-too-swift, "serving our country by working dad's campaign" Romney boys and ten billion other Romneys back in this thing. I have not tried to hide the fact that I find Cindy McCain dull and pinched, and, sadly, Megan McCain is no where near as fun as the Bush twins. If I can't have boozy young adults I'll take 1950s fantasies in minty Mormon flavor. Bring on the insanely wealthy and thick haired political Osmonds, please! One rotten Romney don't spoil the whole bunch, John!